Monday, October 27, 2014

The Call is Coming From Inside the House

Day #27

I was on my way out when the phone rang.

I checked the caller ID and saw that it was coming from me,

on the home line.

The strangest part is that it scared me and I would. not. pick. it. up.

It rang like 3 times.

I saw my cell phone on the table so it wasn’t an accidental pocket call.

I kept thinking to myself that it was like one of those horror movies where you hear the operator tell you that the creepy calls you’ve been getting have been,

“coming from inside the house.”


Cue scary music 
and thunder 
and lightning.

But there was no scary music or thunder and lightning.

Just me,

making Nigel go around room to room, 

to make sure there wasn’t someone 
using one of the land line phones.

Pranking me. 

There have been a lot of workers in and out of the house.

As evidenced by my depleting supply of candy corn.

But I found no one. 


I was thinking about what I was so afraid of in NOT picking up the call from myself.

Did I feel threatened…by ME?

Was I afraid it was actually going to be "Evil Me" when I picked up the phone saying something like,

Me at Julie’s Barbie party.

“Yeah, I’m in the basement. It’s time to die.” 

Or something more horrifying than that.

Or was I afraid of “Chatty Me”? (I think we all know how I can yammer on and on.) I’d pick up the phone and there I would be, already in the middle of a conversation,

And I would be all like, 

“I do NOT have time for one of your crazy dreams!
 I was heading to the grocery store."

Or was I afraid it was going to be “Bossy Me”?

“Hey, can you bring the laundry up from the basement? 
I want to fold it.”

and then I’d have to be all like,

“Sure, no prob--hey! I did that yesterday! Are you Karmen from the past? Does that make me Karmen from the future??”

She would seem all confused.

So I’d throw in a, 

Jeremy is going to go crazy about the smell of stink bugs when he removes the upstairs bathroom window. 
Be sure to wash the hand towel. Trust me.”

And she’d be all like,

“I will. Thanks!”

Then I’d hang up and smile and think,

She’s sweet. A little yesterday, but a good egg.

But now I will never know.
Because I screened my own call,
from me.


  1. LOL! Another friend of mine had the same thing happen to them. I think it has happened to us before too. Pretty sure it is a telemarketer gimmick. Now I must go and google it. Here is the answer from CBS, and it is indeed phone scammers, Do not answer it. It would be kind of cool though if it was a call from us in the past or maybe even us in the future....sounds like a Doctor Who episode. Man I love Doctor Who, the new ones though, not the original ones. I miss the tenth doctor. He was my favorite. I am rambling. It must be a Karmen thing, the rambling. Enjoy your day!

    1. Hahaha! I love a good ramble! Interesting…a telemarketing gimmick, huh! Good thing I didn’t pick it up!

  2. Thanks for putting a smile on my face on a Monday morning. It's hard to smile on Monday at least before noon.

    1. Mary,

      You are welcome! Thanks for reading!

  3. Oh, you can't leave us hanging like that! What in the world. How did that happen? You crack me up though. I was laughing out loud. My babysitter accidentally texted herself on a new phone that she didn't know the number to. I don't remember why she texted her own number, but it showed up as "hey" so she responded "who is this?" and got a text that said "who is this" and then she said "I asked you first". She figured out what was going on, but she did text and respond to herself for a little bit there.

    1. Natalie,

      Your babysitter texting herself is too funny! Ha! Thanks for sharing.

  4. My goodness that would have terrified me!!!

    1. Amanda,

      And in the season of Halloween! Thanks for reading.

  5. You are a riot! But yeah, that would scare me too!!

  6. This is hysterical. I love how you pull us into your stream of conscious thinking with your writing!

    1. Sara,
      Thanks! I appreciate your comments!

  7. Hi-larious. "It's time to die." Oh man, you've got a new follower right here.


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