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Showing posts from August, 2016

I Forgot to Mention How Duck Dynasty’s Christmas CD Saved Me

I can’t believe I forgot to mention a pretty significant part of the “A Little Procedure” story.

It wasn’t until I opened the console in my car yesterday and saw this that I was reminded.

Yes, that’s the Duck Dynasty family’s Christmas CD.

Let me back up to the point where Monte is finished with the stitches after his nose procedure to remove skin cancer.

The 7 hour day.
Monte was still a bit “freaked out” from being shown the gaping hole the removed cancer left in his nose, so I decided to drive home.

We had just pulled out of the office onto a very busy street when Monte started frantically swatting at the leg of his pants.
He said there was a bee in the car.
I lowered the windows.
You know,   I didn’t really believe it was a bee. Sure, it was most likely a winged-creature of some sort,  but not a bee.
I drove on.
A few minutes later, I thought I felt something on my leg but didn’t dare say a word because I really felt the need to CALM THE MOOD DOWN in the car.
We were at a stop light…

A “Little" Procedure

What I’ve learned after 20 years of marriage is that Monte’s body does not like to be cut.

He swells up like a hot air balloon and makes his way into medical journals with all manner of side effects and “what is that?!” responses from his doctor in follow-up appointments.

We have decided that “elective” surgery is no longer an option for Monte.

Not worth the unknown horror that even the most experienced doctors can’t explain.
Which is why Monte sits firmly in the 1% chance  of all the fine print happening that is listed on every form that you have to sign  before having a procedure or surgery. You know those annoying prescription commercials where a voiceover lists  all the horrid and seemingly “not worth it” side effects to the medicine?
Monte would have them all.
And then a few more
they never anticipated.
Because of this knowledge, we decided against Monte having corrective eye surgery even though he really wanted to.
But like rookies, we had him go ahead with a vasectomy.
It’s stil…

Random Summer Happenings and Thoughts

We’ve been back from the beach for a couple weeks and I’m still not quite acclimated to life not at the beach.

It’s amazing what a week with a view will do to your perspective.
Especially when this is your view.

We had a big week.

My uncle visited for a few days and my brother for just one night.

We got McDaniel’s senior pictures taken by the same lady who took Ellie’s first and second year-old portraits at the beach.

The photographer is so sweet and claimed to remember us.

We saw more baby turtles make their way to the ocean for the first time along with egrets and storks!

My mom and I got pooped on by pelicans flying over the deck of our beach house!

It was a carpet bombing!

My mom exclaimed,

“It smells like fish!
Better than a bad hot dog, I guess.
I had the weirdest dream while I was on vacation.

I was in an interview and I was asked my age.

I said,

with as much confidence as a kid lying about not eating candy  with said candy smeared all over their face.
Except I had “SO NOT …