Thursday, August 18, 2016

I Forgot to Mention How Duck Dynasty’s Christmas CD Saved Me

I can’t believe I forgot to mention a pretty significant part of the “A Little Procedure” story.

It wasn’t until I opened the console in my car yesterday and saw this that I was reminded.

Yes, that’s the Duck Dynasty family’s Christmas CD.

Let me back up to the point where Monte is finished with the stitches after his nose procedure to remove skin cancer.

The 7 hour day.

Monte was still a bit “freaked out” from being shown the gaping hole the removed cancer left in his nose, so I decided to drive home.

We had just pulled out of the office onto a very busy street when Monte started frantically swatting at the leg of his pants.

He said there was a bee in the car.

I lowered the windows.

You know,  
I didn’t really believe it was a bee.
Sure, it was most likely a winged-creature of some sort, 
but not a bee.

I drove on.

A few minutes later, I thought I felt something on my leg but didn’t dare say a word because I really felt the need to CALM THE MOOD DOWN in the car.

We were at a stop light when I felt something on my leg again.

I looked down to see a bee fly into 
and then bounce off 
my crotch.


I lost it.

In every way imaginable.

Monte pointed to where I could safely pull over.

We both jumped out and started frantically looking for the bee.

I found him on the floor limping around by the brake pedal.

I must’ve wounded him during my “losing it.”

I needed something to smash him with.

I opened the console and found the Duck Dynasty Christmas CD.

It did a heck of a job.

Monte and I laughed on the way home that if I had been stung in the crotch by a bee and needed medical attention, 

and believe me, I would have, 

no one would've noticed his bandaged nose.

Or we’d become the beginning of a story those ER people would tell the rest of their life.

“So this guy walks in with his nose all bandaged up saying 
his wife had just gotten stung by a bee in the crotch! 

No, I’m not making this up!

I’m dead serious!

The crotch."

Thank you, Lord!

 For Monte’s healing 

and for Duck Dynasty’s Christmas CD.


  1. You crack me up! I once sat on a bee while on the teeter totter in second grade (and of course it stung me). I had to go to the nurses office and she had to inspect the sting site. Humiliated. But it would not compare to your almost incident!

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