Friday, October 14, 2016

The Stuff That Always Happens When Monte is Out of Town

Day #14



McDaniel was working hard gluing cut out, printed pieces of information on card stock paper for a project.

She spent a long time on the project before moving on to other homework.

I grabbed the glue stick to put it away when I noticed it wasn’t glue at all.



It was Monte’s sunscreen stick he uses to protect his nose.


Since the whole nose procedure thing.

I showed McDaniel the sunscreen and she pulled out her folder and all the pieces of paper were peeling off of the card stock.

I think there is an entire sermon in this.

About how we are quick to grab something 
that looks like the solution 
only to realize after a lot of energy and time 
that it wasn’t what we thought it was.

Or maybe just how there’s only one true thing that binds…

Or don’t leave your sunscreen in the same drawer as the glue sticks, 
Monte.

He said he’s awfully glad he hasn’t (yet) put glue on his nose.



It was somewhere around me texting Monte about the sunscreen that I noticed the toilet was clogged in the bathroom.

I plunged 
and plunged 
and plunged 
and flushed 
and plunged again.

Nothing.

I’d wait awhile and repeat the whole process.

Nothing.

Stuff like this always happens when Monte is out of town.

So I went to bed.

McDaniel woke me up to ask if I heard the thud downstairs.

I did not.

She asked me to check it out.

Ummm… no.

Stuff like this always happens when Monte is out of town.


In the morning, I found McDaniel’s overly stuffed, ridiculously heavy backpack in the middle of the kitchen floor.

It had fallen off the bar stool.

Thank goodness I didn’t dig deep the night before
for some bravery I did not think I had 
only to trip on a backpack  
and beat it to smithereens with a toilet plunger.

Speaking of…

I had a meeting first thing in the morning so I forgot to check on the clogged toilet issue.

During the meeting, a woman asked if she could come over and look at the subway tile in my kitchen.

I rushed home to make sure the breakfast dishes were in the dishwasher before she got there.

I was greeted at the door by a less than savory smell.

The clogged toilet!!

Poop. Soup.

I’m sorry. 
There’s just no other way to describe it.

And it rhymes.

I lit all the candles I owned and closed the bathroom door on the horror.

I quickly texted Monte for the plumber's number while the doorbell rang.

After the lady left, I plunged the hot mess toilet within an inch of my life and sanity.

A loud sucking sound interrupted the heartbeat thumping coming out of my left eyeball.

The toilet flushed!

Not only did it flush, it resumed a normal color and water level!

Victory!!

Later, I convinced an admissions guy at a university that the tour on Monday wasn’t too full for one more and got McDaniel registered over the phone--no online registration required!

Now that is definitely NOT something that always happens 
when Monte is out of town.




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