Thursday, October 06, 2016

On Being Self-Aware

Day #6

Some time ago I heard a guy on the radio talk about self-awareness.

He wondered if the people in our lives that we have to walk on egg shells around,

you know the ones who easily get their feelings hurt,
are quick to become offended
or explode into a tirade over the slightest perceived infraction,

if they KNOW what they do to us.

If they are self-aware enough to know they are tough to be around.

He imagined the conversation where he told them in general terms,

“You are tough to be around.”

He wondered if they would be surprised.

Hmmm… I wonder too.

This guy on the radio said he found it interesting that of all the moody people he knew, none of them are married to a moody spouse.

He went on to speculate that if two moody people got married that eventually one of them would have to suck it up and move on from their moodiness so that the marriage would have a chance of surviving.

Which would kind of prove that moody people ARE self-aware

and they subconsciously (or consciously) 
marry the opposite of themselves
so that they never have to change.


I talked about this issue with a friend and we likened it to this scenario:

It’s like having a friend call complaining that their cookies taste bad.

You go over the recipe with them and determine they forgot to add the flour.

Problem solved!

Then you get another call on another day from the same friend complaining the next batch of cookies taste bad.

When you ask if they put in flour they say no.

Problem solved.
They call again complaining about the cookies.

You tell them it’s the flour! You HAVE to add the flour!

 They can’t believe you are yelling at them. Don’t you think they can bake good cookies? They thought you were their friend!

You explain you are being a friend and that’s why you told them about the flour.

They decide that maybe just because you use flour that it doesn’t mean they should use flour.

You ask them if they are now happy with the taste of their cookies?

They respond that you just don’t understand! Not everyone can bake good cookies.

 Some people will never follow the recipe.

Whether they are self-aware about that fact?

I don’t know.

When our kids are little, we shape their self-awareness with constant reminders.

We tell them being rude isn’t nice.
Slamming doors is unacceptable.
Acting out in anger is not the right choice.
Certain language is inappropriate.
Being respectful is absolutely necessary.
Selfishness is not allowed.
Saying sorry is expected.

We remind them over and over and over again that they aren’t the boss.

We do all that with the goal that one day our kids will be self-aware enough to know when they are off.

And correct it all on their own.

Being self-aware.


God knew this was going to be hard for us. So He gave us the Holy Spirit as “a helper” to convict us.

To alert us to the areas where we aren’t being self-aware 

and He really needs us to be.

Just like we do for our kids, our sweet heavenly Father does for us.

Gentle reminders to
follow the recipe.

But for those people in our lives seeking enablers rather than truth?

God’s got it.

You aren’t the boss.

Just get out of His way.


  1. This post was quite thought provoking. I do know people like you described and yes don't we blame ourselves when like you say they are the ones not following the recipe.

  2. Karmen, you are such a hoot. But you are SO GOOD at making me think! I love the gentle but firm way you speak of the Holy Spirit in this post.

    Thanks so much for joining the Grace at Home party! I'm featuring you this week.

    1. Thanks, Richella! So happy your are safe from all the crazy weather.


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