The Nesbitt

Back in January Monte announced that he knew what he wanted for his birthday

which is in February.

He briefly explained that he wanted a bracelet for fitness

or something.

What I heard was one of those bands that was supposed to keep you from falling down.

Which I am not even sorry to say is flat out stupid.

After several more explanations that it was not, in fact, a stupid so-you-won’t-fall-down bracelet,

he told me it was called a Fitbit,

****

which I could never remember,

and felt it was awkward to say,

so I started referring to it as a Nesbitt.

Not that I am AT ALL equating Monte wanting a rubber bracelet with Buzz Lightyear losing his arm, going a bit “bat crazy”, wearing a woman’s hat and calling himself Mrs. Nesbitt after a bit too much Darjeeling tea.

Ahem.

You are supposed to wear this Nesbitt like a watch and it monitors how many 

steps you take, 

calories you burn, 

miles you walk, 

stairs you climb 

and how restful your sleep is.

 Monte would roll over in the middle of the night, 

hit the button on the side of the Nesbitt, 

which illuminated the entire room with an eerie blue light, 

to see if he was getting enough restful sleep.

He was constantly telling me how many steps he took in a day.

When he didn’t get in what he thought was enough, 

he’d walk around the house until he did.

Which was confusing to the dog.

Who thought it was some really boring, 

repetitious game.

He ended up buying the Nesbitt for himself for his birthday

(once I found out it was over $100)

and gave it to himself early.

So for the past 4 months I have gotten daily reports on Monte’s wellness via the Nesbitt.

He synced it to the computer and everything.

Monte can get a wee bit overly excited about new technology.

He’s no early adapter (thank goodness) 

and he’s never camped out in line in front of an Apple store before 

a new something or other has been released.

(SUPER thank goodness!)

But his seemingly growing dependence on the reports from this little rubber bracelet was baffling and let’s be honest, annoying to me.

But he could be doing WAY worse things

 than being concerned about his health.

He could be growing a handlebar mustache,
planning for a zombie apocalypse,
wearing skinny jeans

or playing video games for hours every night.

I got a text from Monte last week while he was out of town on business that he lost his Nesbitt.

He was able to log onto his computer and see when the last “beam me up Scotty” transmission was.

7:45 am.

He figured he was just walking into the office. He looked all over the parking lot.

Even under cars.

He looked all over the office and had others help.

No Nesbitt.

He was sad.

I should have suggested some 

Darjeeling tea over the phone.

Once he was back home from the trip, he got a call that his Nesbitt had been found,

this past Monday,

in the parking lot of the office building.

That means the Nesbitt potentially sat in that parking lot for 5 days,

getting rained on,

possibly run over

and who knows what else.

I mean, maybe even an unsuspecting guy picked the Nesbitt up thinking it was his,

only to try it on later at home realizing that all the information on the Nesbitt was not his.

Sound familiar?

It was a strange Nesbitt belonging to someone else.

And he’d had it on his wrist!

So maybe this man,

this poor freaked out “I-didn’t-mean-to-steal-your-Nesbitt” possible man, 

took it back to the parking lot he found it in Monday morning 

and discreetly tossed it on the ground hoping that whoever lost it would be on the lookout for it.

Heaven forbid he take it to Lost & Found or anything.

It’s the revenge of The Pants With No One Inside Them!

Click on the link above
if you are lost.

“I said I was sorry he lost his Nesbitt.

In the parking lot with no one inside it.

I said and said and said I’m sorry,

I said it but I lied it."

**When pulling up an image of the Nesbitt, the website said this version was no 

longer being sold because of a voluntary callback due to rashes and a faulty snap.**