Monday, May 05, 2014

The Nesbitt Again


I failed to mention in my last post that somewhere in the past four months, 

Monte bought me a Nesbitt.



Not the rubber bracelet kind that you wear as a watch (that is over $100).

A small pedometer looking thing that clips onto your pants.

And it’s green.

I am not bed-ridden, I just had not worn it
the day I took this picture.
And the 16 steps recorded were the ones
I took holding the Nesbitt and crossing the
room to take this picture.

Monte presented it to me with the idea that we’d be “Nesbitt Buddies”

and, I don’t know, sync up.

So we could share information like how much restful sleep we got, 

how many stairs we took 

or, 

at the very least, 

to get in our steps 
together.

Instead, I usually forgot I was wearing the Nesbitt

and had several “near disaster” episodes in the bathroom 

when it flung itself off my pants.

And then it just made me mad when I saw how many blasted steps it took me to get groceries at our newly renovated Kroger. 

I know.

I should be thinking of my health and the fact that 3,000 steps is a great workout in uncomfortable flats from Target but I just. wanted. to. find. the. flipping. feta. 

Monte gave me my Nesbitt in the dead of winter when we could not see our street because it was covered with Polar Vortex.

Everything was covered with Polar Vortex.


Including my attitude.

I couldn’t really get out with my Nesbitt when the sidewalks weren’t visible and the streets were dangerous.

Monte was able to hit the treadmill at the gym at work and get in like 10 million steps
(or something like that in the analytics he showed me from his computer sync up report).

My Nesbitt refused to recognize the miles 
I put in on my stationary bike.

When I mentioned this to Monte, he told me there was a way I could manually enter the information into the blah, blah, blah-blah, blah, BLAH.

The first image that comes onto the screen when I tap on my Nesbitt is a smiley face with it’s tongue hanging out, mocking me.




Like it’s saying, 

“Ha-ha! You can ride to Oklahoma and back 
on that bike and I won’t recognize it!”

Or

“Oh yeah, it’s going to take like 4,000 steps this Kroger trip. 
You should’ve worn better shoes!”

Or
“Hey! You aren’t Monte.”

Or

Siri, told me about you."


Technology hates me with the same passion Monte loves it.

Monte actually worried when he had not received his lost but now found Nesbitt in the mail from the other office where he lost it in Pittsburgh.

He called to check on it only to hear it was still sitting on someone’s desk in a FED EX envelope “dark and alone”.

I reminded Monte that Nesbitt was a rubber bracelet 
without a heartbeat or soul.


Monte came home from work Friday with the Nesbitt on his arm like it was never gone.

And it’s working!



He had to charge it once it arrived to the office 
but it is as good as new.

He said that once it charged the message,

“Hug me”

came across the screen.

I made a comment to the effect of,

“That’s creepy”

when he said,

“Oh, I get messages like that all the time.”

What?!

I get tongue wagging.

And unrecognized exercise.

Maybe Siri did talk to my Nesbitt!



7 comments:

  1. I laughed out loud at this one. One time my husband bought me a key fob that was supposed to beep when I whistled. Actually it beeped when I yelled at the kids. They thought this was funny. Then I ran over it with my car. They also thought that was funny.

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    1. Oh I MUST know if you ran over it on purpose or “accident”. Either way, it’s still hilarious!

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  2. Hahaha.....this is hilarious! :)

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  3. Hahaha.....this is hilarious! :)

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  4. Hi, Karmen. I just discovered your blog today through Manic Mom. I enjoyed this piece so much that I had to comment to tell you so. I actually ran out of Kleenex from laughing/crying! This was such a wonderful way to end my day. Thank you!

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    Replies
    1. Deborah,

      Thanks! So glad you found your way to me!

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