iPhoner

Monte surprised me a few weeks ago with a new iPhone 5.

You know I didn't ask for it.

Remember me?

Techno dinosaur and somewhat proud of it.

Monte REALLY needed me to enter the world of smart phones.

Just occurred to me that maybe he was embarrassed of me when I'd whip out my little ol' slider phone at basketball games to update my parents on McDaniel's team.

Hmmmm…

Whatever the reason, I am an iPhoner now.

Is that a thing to say "iPhoner"?

It really took no time to get the hang of since I am comfortable with how Apple products work.
(She said with just a teence bit of haughty condescension.)

Seriously, the hardest part was making a call.

I am dead serious.

I can take a picture and send it to multiple people and places WAY easier and faster than making a simple call.

Ellie gave me a tutorial the first night I got it.

She is 10.

And NOT a smart phone owner.

Wait. She doesn't even have a phone of ANY kind.

Wow. I feel even more prehistoric now.

I guess she elected herself my personal trainer on the iPhone since she got "fed up" with me always complaining about not being able to get the DVD player on 

or the Wii

or the Apple TV

or let's face it, 

sometimes turning the TV on and off troubles me.

And switching between all of the above?

Heaven help me.

So before the holidays, Ellie took it upon herself to set up a "Little Tutorial" for me on all things remote, 

cable 

and TV related.

She had a clipboard with a list of topics to teach and then quiz me on.

She had a stop watch too.

I wish I was making this up. 

My palms are starting to sweat thinking about it.

First Ellie wanted to see my level of need.

So I fumbled with all the remotes like I normally do

saying, "For the love of Pete" under my breath a lot. 

She said, "Oh my," to the ceiling and shook her head.

Honestly, we have WAY too many remotes!

Why can't we consolidate to one really big remote?

With bigger buttons and lettering--they are getting smaller, am I right??

This would be a dream to use
and read!

Remember the old remotes that actually made a clicking sound when you pressed a button?

That is why my grandma still calls the remote "the clicker".

But they were simple. Easy to use.

Sigh.

Good ol' days.

But I digress…

Ellie spent no less time training me on how to switch from

cable

 to the Apple TV

 to the DVD player 

back to cable 

than Mickey did getting Rocky ready to fight Apollo Creed.

It has been way too long
since I've mentioned Rocky. 

I may have been more exhausted.

And I didn't get to hear that great theme song to inspire me.

It would've helped.

So when Ellie showed up, clipboard in hand, the night I got the iPhone, I knew what was getting ready to happen.

I didn't fight it.

It wasn't worth it.

At least with the TV remote training, I was better for it in the end. 

I use those skills daily and they have served me well.

I failed big time on the iPhone.

Ellie didn't like my inexperienced touch screen texting technique

or speed.

She threw up her hands in defeat.

So fast forward a few weeks later to last night.

Monte spontaneously gave me a follow up to Ellie's tutorial.

Without a clipboard. 

Or a stopwatch. 

Thankfully.

I learned how to make a call without handing it to one of the girls and saying:

"Call your father." 

"Call your grandmother." 

It was great. 

And so simple.

It certainly has been nice to pick up email on the run--especially during McDaniel's basketball tournament when I realized through an email from her coach that she had packed the wrong uniform.

The one thing I didn't realize was that I would love playing a game (Ruzzle) so much.

It's a cross between Boggle
and Scrabble

You see, I was the one not understanding the people that play games through Facebook

or who post just how much they play or score on said games on Facebook.

Hey, I if am going to spend an inordinate amount of time NOT doing the laundry or the dishes, I certainly am not going to publicly declare it.

I'd rather tuck that under the rug with the crumbs where no one can see it.

But that's just me.
(And I may just have to ask God for strength to break me free from my Ruzzle addiction. 
But not before I can beat Monte. 
At least once!)

The whole reason I thought I'd want the smart phone was to show coupons to cashiers on the screen rather than on paper.

Haven't done it…yet.

We haven't gotten to that bullet point on Ellie's clipboard…yet.

Fingers crossed we'll get there by Spring.