Then This Happened

Tuesday McDaniel turned 15 1/2.

No, we are not celebrating that with any sort of party or anything.

Not that BOTH of my girls haven’t tried 

to get me on board with that years ago.

McDaniel was eligible to get her temporary driver’s license.

Yeah.

Crazy.

She borrowed a DMV book from a friend and studied all weekend.

Thankfully, it was Labor Day so the weekend was longer than usual.

Monte downloaded an app on the iPad that contained 280 possible questions that they asked you in test format.

I sat with McDaniel and tried to help. About 60 questions in, I was ready to surrender my license and never drive again.

THE QUESTIONS WERE RIDICULOUS.

And I’ve been out on the roads.

NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW THIS STUFF!!

Like, did you know that you can turn left on a red light 

if you are turning ONTO a one-way street 

FROM a one-way street??

I didn’t.

And I’m kind of “who cares?” about it.

The questions were worded in a way that confused even the most basic of road rules. I found myself reading and rereading and then READING OUT LOUD one question before I realized they were talking about the double lines in the center of the road mean no passing.

Duh. 

Just say that, people. 

It shouldn’t be a trick question.

McDaniel is a visual learner, as am I, so Ellie found some model cars around the house and Monte and I went about “acting out” some of the test question scenarios.

Looks like a collision is happening.

We used pens and pencils for lane markers.

It was really helpful.

While all the studying and quizzing and traffic simulating was happening, someone sent McDaniel a video of a miniature lamb hopping around the inside of someone’s house.

As their pet.

It was the cutest thing, really. 

Just as was the picture of the baby monkey girl dressed

with a bow in her fuzzy little hair.

Those eyes.

You say, “Isn’t that cute!” and you move on.

I should’ve realized the wheels were turning inside McDaniel’s head.

This was the girl that teamed up with Ellie to push for a teacup pig.

But I was too busy thinking of the wheels of the vehicular nature.

McDaniel watched the lamb video over and over and convinced herself that it would fit right into our lives here

IN the house.

B-A-A-D idea.

She even did research and discovered that a miniature lamb is just a bear to house train.

As is an actual bear, I’m sure.

So it was recommended that you buy this little lamb (who’s fleece is white as snow),

a baby diaper

making sure to cut a little hole in the back for its tail.

For the love of Pete.

McDaniel’s research also uncovered that if you don’t neuter your little lamb right away

it will develop quite a nasty little temperament along with its horns.

And it could take to ramming you.

And bullying any and all other pets in the house.

I asked McDaniel why in the world she wanted a miniature lamb that would need its diaper changed and could be violent.

She said so she could name it Tom Hanks 

(her favorite actor).

But most importantly,

so people could call her "Old McDaniel".

Well, E-I-E-I-O to that.

McDaniel managed to pass the written driver’s test.

Thank you, Lord!

And then we were sent next door to wait in a super long line to actually get her temporary license.

The sign said the agency closed at 5:00.

It was 4:30 and there were, what seemed like, 487 people in front of us.

I wasn’t sure how this was all going to play out.

The people watching was FANTASTIC.

Especially the older woman working there with really short hair but really long piggy tails that were a different color than the rest of her hair.

Fascinating.

You could see the friendliness and joy drain right out of the workers with each minute that clock ticked closer to 5:00.

With 5 minutes to spare, we were the next in line.

Even though I secretly hoped we’d get fake piggy tails to help us so I could, you know, further assess the situation, 

a young gal told us to step up to the counter.

She was so lovely to us even after she mentioned she was really ready to go home.

We were then sent across the room to get McDaniel’s picture taken.

Another sweet, lovely lady took care of us and gushed over McDaniel’s name.

She even took a couple pictures saying,

“Oh yeah, you are going to be WAY happier with this one!”

Now, that is worth its weight in gold, right there.

It’s official!

On the way home from the license branch,

no, I didn’t let her drive because we had just had a downpour and the roads were quite wet,

McDaniel pointed to a car coming our way.

It was a very old Land Rover.

 The kind you’d only see on safari. 

The metal panels of this vehicle were attempting to shake themselves off individually while traveling down the road at only a moderate speed. 

Not a smooth ride.

At all.

McDaniel announced that was her perfect car.

She’s been doing that a lot.

Remember this FRD that was her perfect car?

Missing the ‘O’ in FORD.
Classy.

She said, 

“Can’t you just see me in that?”

Ellie added, 

“With a lamb in the passenger seat?”

McDaniel, 

her eyes practically turning into hearts, 

dreamily put her hands to her chest and screamed,

“YES!”

For the love of Pete.