Thursday, September 18, 2014

No Machinery. No Hard Hats.

The den came down on Monday.

When the word “demolition” was first mentioned I had “move that bus!” TV reality show like thoughts in my head.

I certainly expected machinery. 

And hard hats.

I watched said machinery take down Carisa’s house.


So I didn’t dream it up.

I realize now that our builder never actually mentioned a word about machinery in the same sentence as “demolition”.

Or hard hats.

 I just naturally filled in the blanks 
and fully planned to have a picture taken 
with me ON the machinery.

Possibly wearing a hard hat.

But early Monday morning the only thing that rolled into my driveway was a normal size truck and a man on a bicycle.

Yes! He rode his bike to my house.

To tear it down.

I love that and find it incredibly funny 
at the same time.

Two men went to work on the den with a hammer and a crow bar.

They took down each wooden plank, board by board.

No sledge hammers.

No crashing.

No smashing.

HGTV has really ruined me on the 
expectations of home improvement.

Thanks a lot, Property Brothers!



As one man started on the wood siding, another was on the roof taking off the shingles.


After a few hours and my view still looked like this:


I wanted to go out and grab his hammer 
and start knocking down the den myself.

A dumpster was delivered later in the morning and I snapped this picture for Monte.

Nothing excites that man quite like an empty dumpster.

It’s like a blank canvas to an artist. 

Monte had ALL KINDS of ideas of how to fill it 
with 15-year-old paint cans and old yard chemicals.


Monte and I were absolutely convinced (with all the leaks this room has had in the past) that this part of the house was completely rotten and could be pushed over by hand.

Not so! By the looks of all the tugging and pulling and pushing and hammering, it was remarkably solid!

Monte and I were also preparing ourselves for the discovery of termites because

1) The number of dead stink bugs I found in the den cabinets.

2) Last winter's lice infestation.

3) Our neighbor found termites in her house a few years ago when she added on. (They probably just shooed them right on out of her yard to ours, right?)

BUGS JUST LIKE OUR HOUSE.

Praise God, we didn’t have termites! 

We had carpenter ants.

There were tunnels and street corners and intersections 
and apparently a mayor and city council 
because they had been there for some time.

The builder showed me what one looked like and I was like, 

Oh hey, I’ve seen him before. INSIDE the house.

Why? Because BUGS JUST LIKE OUR HOUSE.



Our interior French Doors have now become our exterior doors.


And not to brag, but I get this sweet view every day right from my living room.


Our dog Nigel is just beside himself. 

The den is where his food and water used to be.

His bed.

His toys. 

His best view of the squirrels and birds from the top of my red chair.

He can’t quite get used to the change.

We put his bed in our room upstairs.

His toys in the living room.

His food and water in the kitchen.

He walks around sighing loudly with his nub of a tail down and his head hanging low because no one asked him and NONE OF THIS WILL DO.

Yesterday, I caught him banging his head on the French doors MORE THAN ONCE trying to open them to see what in the world has happened to life as he once knew it.

He’s also afraid of the backyard.




Maybe because he doesn’t recognize it anymore.

Or maybe because it’s just a painful reminder of what once was.

As Monte put it this morning,

“You are a dog. Get over it and poop in the backyard!”

Can you hear the sighing?

Interesting lack of compassion coming from the man deeply disappointed that the dumpster was filled to capacity (and there are still gutters behind the Sycamore) and he could not toss in paint cans and chemicals to his heart content.




In preparation to start digging, the air conditioner was dismantled 
and put into our garage this morning.

Good thing it’s going to warm up again this weekend.

And McDaniel will be primping to go to the Homecoming Dance.

I think Nigel won’t be the only one banging his head on the doors 
and walking around sighing.

2 comments:

  1. Best wishes on the renovation. I love HGTV - who knows, maybe they will offer you a reality show! Are you doing any of the work yourselves? Just so long as you don't end up on the DIY channel's Renovation Realities (although the episodes do have a lot of humor - unfortunately it is at the expense of the poor DIY homeowners).

    ReplyDelete
  2. So when it's all done. I'M COMING OVER!!!!

    I love your humor Karmen.... SO much!!!

    ReplyDelete