Dreams and Fasts

I had a dream last night that my bottom was enormous.

Not just that my bottom was enormous

but that my bottom was enormous in a dress that was clearly too tight on me--

in the bottom area.

I could FEEL the material pulling and straining 

in distress from my enormous bottom in my dream.

I can still feel that feeling now.

And I am not wearing a dress.

And I was in public

walking around

with a tight dress and an enormous bottom.

Heaven help me, I am not even sure I was embarrassed.

Why didn't my husband, Monte, say,

"Hey, might want to rethink that dress."

Or a more direct

"Your bottom is HUGE."

That's right, he is WAY too smart

or gun shy

for that.

So that seems like a weird dream.

Even for me.

I woke up still wearing my baggy flannel jammies so this dream was all of my imagination

the crazy maze of no-armed husbands 

and angry hippos that can be.

So now I am left with a

"Huh. I wonder what that meant."

And feeling like I need to be more consistent with my workouts

or research liposuction.

Our church is doing an optional fast.

Not Lent.

But a fast.

A voluntary break from something that we do or ingest 

so that we can take that time 

that we normally do whatever it is we are fasting from 

to pray and read the bible.

I chose to fast from candy.

I have a candy calendar that consists of

Candy Corn in the fall

Peppermint Nougats and gum drops for the Christmas season

Jelly Beans in the spring and summer

Chewy caramels for all the in-between times.

It was the first thing that popped into my head when I heard the sermon on fasting.

I think God was not going to leave me to my own fasting ideas

so I wanted to honor that thought.

I didn't realize how hard it would be.

Because I didn't realize how many candy dishes I had around the house.

All just recently restocked with Werther's soft chew caramels.

YUM!

The first few days I actually had to SLAP my own hand from either grabbing a caramel

or to let it go since the caramel was already in my hand.

It was so mindless.

Walk past the candy dish--

grab a caramel.

Pour a cup of coffee--

grab a caramel.

Head out the door--

grab a caramel.

Lots of hand slapping.

I knew enough about myself that I didn't want to make the fast a fast from ALL sweets

because dessert isn't an everyday event at our house.

And what kind of fast would it be if I was fasting from something that wasn't going to be a challenge?

I have to say since I have said no to candy

I have been saying yes to dessert a wee bit more than usual.

Maybe that is where my enormous bottom dream is coming from.

Is it possible to cheat from a fast 

by flirting with candy's cousin, Dessert?

I think I already know the answer.

Our fast ends the 15th of this month.

Plenty of time to still enjoy jelly beans for the Easter season.

I eat mine in this order:

white

pink

then purple.

Monte eats the green, orange and yellow ones.

No one eats red or black.

Not that I have been thinking about this or anything.

Don't call me on the 15th.

I er, uh, have plans.

That's right, very important plans with a dear, SWEET friend.