A Jacked Up Jaw

We went to our beloved Fripp Island this summer.

Such a bonus that I unknowingly captured an egret in this picture.
 Can you see him?

Insert a happy [sigh] here.

No place is like Fripp for me.

Actually my entire family. 

We all feel exactly the same way.

And we don't feel exactly the same way about ANYTHING else.

This year we had the added pleasure of getting to see my dad's older brother, Doyle and his son, Doyle Jr. whom I had never met.

Long story.

I think it had been 16 years or so since I had seen Uncle Doyle.

He spends most of his time in Brazil but has rental properties in North Carolina that he was working on and was able to make the drive to Fripp.

So glad he did.

My family standing by the brick we bought for my parents years ago
at a park in Fripp. So a piece of them is there always.
Insert another happy [sigh].

On our first day at the beach Ellie and I did what we love to do:

jump waves.

Fripp has some of the warmest water EVER.

Like bath water warm.

I have read why and can not intelligently pass that along to you now 

but something about jet streams and coastlines and whatnot.

You can walk out REALLY far into the ocean and still be waist deep.

I like that.

Until I came home and watched a special during Shark Week where this team of, I don't know, sharkologists, came up with this torpedo tracking device to follow great whites around in a beach area in Cape Cod and this 18-foot shark,

let me say that again,

18-foot shark

swam so close to the beach in like 3 feet of water,

let me say that again,

3 feet of water!

It made the sharkologists call the "authorities" of that beach and shut it down due to "shark activity".

Wasn't that the entire plot of Jaws?

Not to my knowledge has there ever been a shark sighting at Fripp.

I will chant that to myself under my breath the next time I am there jumping waves.

Plus, gators are the thing to be on the lookout for at Fripp.

But I digress…

Ellie and I were jumping some pretty awesome waves when her 

jump up 

and my 

jump down

collided.

As in her head and my chin.

To say I got my bell rung truly and accurately describes the collision.

Because I heard the DING

and the DONG.

I thought I knocked Ellie out so I busied myself pulling her out of the water and checking her head for bleeding while my tongue did a roll call over my teeth to see if there were any absences.

There were not.

A little while later I had a pretty intense pain in my ear. I thought it was just water so I went up on the beach and laid on my side to see if it would help.

It didn't.

By dinner time, my throat was sore and my ear still hurt.

I thought I might be getting a cold.

The next morning, I could barely bite down and my ear just ached and my throat still hurt.

Ellie came down for breakfast rubbing her head and saying how sore it was from our collision.

That is when I finally put it all together.

I jacked up my jaw!

I didn't know what to do about it since I had an entire week's worth of vacation ahead of me and no intention of heading across the bridge to an urgent care, so I just took some Alleve and dealt with it.

By chewing gum (to loosen up my tight jaw)

drinking coffee (to make me happy)

and eating lots of good chewy food (because we were on vacation).

I found out a week later that I did everything wrong. 

Everything.

Even though we had the most comfortable king-size bed at the beach house

and we watched episodes of Laverne and Shirley with our girls every night before bed

(they had NEVER seen the show before! How is it I have failed them so?)

I still had nightmares almost every night.

Nightmares involving getting my jacked up jaw wired shut so that I had to talk somehow through gritted teeth 

and have my friend Carisa rub raw cookie dough on them for nourishment.

Pretty odd, huh.

Because I don't even prefer raw cookie dough.

My dentist was on vacation when we got back into town so we got in touch with a friend who is also in the business.

The business of teeth and jacked up jaw fixing.

He so very graciously saw me on a Sunday night.

Which I was ever so happy about since I could not take another night of dreams 

where Carisa was rubbing raw cookie dough onto my teeth!!

Not that she wouldn't do it if I asked.

God love her sweet heart.

The good news of the visit was that I had not broken my jaw and it would not require wiring shut.

When Ellie's up and my down, collided, 

the pad thingy that sits in between my jaw hinge squirted right out.

Medically speaking, of course.

In other words:  I jacked up my jaw.

I got fitted for a mouth piece that fits over just my two front teeth and would help relax my jaw hinge enough to allow that pad thingy to slip back into its rightful place.

Hope I didn't just bore you with all the technical details.

I was also given some dos and don'ts:

•Do take ibuprofen 3 times a day.

•Don't chew gum.

What?!

•Do change to a soft food diet.

No. Words.

•Don't drink coffee or other caffeine.

For the love of Pete!

•Do wear the mouth piece each night.

•Don't let the dog chew on it.

Oh my!

Can I just say that I have never craved crunching into a carrot or an apple more?

That the thought of chomping into some bubble gum 

and chewy taffy tormented me?!

I drank smoothies and ate soup for the first two days.

Then I had the brilliant thought of putting regular normal chewing-required food and sticking it into the blender.

Do you know what happens to chicken with red peppers 

once it is blended?

It turns into vomit.

I am completely serious.

Dead ringer.

But I was so palette bored (if that can be a thing)

that I ate it anyway.

Much to the disgust and horror of my family.

Hey, the vomit turned out to be tasty! 

Don't judge. I had a jacked up jaw.

And I couldn't figure out how to blend jelly beans without ruining my Ninja.

I am happy to report that my jaw is 1,000 times better!

The dog is pretty freaked out when I wear the mouthpiece 

(the girls call me "Bucky")

and it makes me drool like a faucet.

Sorry, that was gross.

[Oh, NOW she apologizes?]

But I am no longer eating vomit.

And am still afraid to try chewing gum or taffy.

And I should probably confess that I never quit drinking coffee. 

I know! 

I am usually such a rule follower!

I didn't want to become Monte's nightmare.