***With all my posts about Ellie, I didn't want to leave my
daughter, McDaniel, out on my trip down memory lane.***
When McDaniel was not quite 4, she and Monte were playing in the front yard after a fresh snowfall.
It was January 6th, 2003.
I know this because I made Monte write it down.
So we'd always remember.
It was dark and there was a beautiful, bright crescent moon.
Monte said it was a perfect picture: a snow covered house back-lit by this beautiful, close-enough-to-touch crescent moon.
He pointed the moon out to McDaniel.
She gasped when she looked up and said, "I see God!"
It wasn't until later when we were getting McDaniel ready for bed that she told us she saw God sitting on top of the moon looking over us.
I can still remember her sweet little smiling face as she told us.
Truly glowing in God-given light.
|Monte and a 4-year-old McDaniel picking out a Christmas tree.|
|Ellie adored big sister McDaniel the second she laid eyes on her.|
A week or so later, I told that story to a baby class I attended with Ellie who was just 6 months old. I couldn't get through the story without choking on sobs.
You see, I had had that kind of faith at one time.
A child-like faith.
Full of wonder and expectation.
I felt God's presence as surely as McDaniel saw Him on the moon.
But something happened.
I let the world seep into my soul and crowd God out or at least cover Him up somewhat.
I let the busyness of a scheduled life deafen the Holy Spirit that still lived somewhere locked inside of me.
I wanted McDaniel's 4-year-old faith.
I wanted the glow of seeing God on the moon,
watching me, to reflect in my face.
I confessed to everyone in that class, with lower lip trembling, that I was jealous of my daughter's faith.
I warned everyone in that class, that God calls us to child-like faith because He knows what growing up in this world can do to us.
To our faith.
God gave me McDaniel to remind me.
She wasn't afraid when she saw God.
She didn't have to ask Monte who that was on the moon.
She recognized Him.
Like she expected Him to be there as surely as she expected to see me peering out the window watching them play in the snow.
I wanted to recognize God again.
To reacquaint myself.
We were old friends, after all, but it had been awhile since I talked to Him deeper than giving Him my list of requests each day in prayer.
I missed Him.
No really, I completely missed Him.
He'd been there all along.
Sitting on the moon,
watching over us and I didn't look up to see Him there.
It took McDaniel.
to point Him back out to me.
I see God.