My 4th grade daughter, Ellie, sat on a tack in her chair at school a few weeks ago. Is that so Little Rascals? I keep singing the line, "I put a tack on teacher's chair. Somebody snitched on me" from "I'm Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas".
When she told me, I instantly thought of which boy in her class did it.
Then she said she was in the computer lab. And had just asked to switch seats to get away from two boys so she could concentrate more.
I guess she did a little hoppity-plop on the chair in her little yippity-skip way she has so the tack REALLY got in there with some force.
"In there" being in her bottom. (sorry to be graphic)
She asked the boy next to her if she did indeed have something in her bottom (she thought it was a splinter).
She asked (in the complete desperation of the situation) for him to take it out.
But he did go get the teacher.
The teacher pulled it out.
God bless her.
I meant to write her a note to thank her for that but could never come up with the appropriate "Hey, thanks for yanking a tack out of my daughter's behind!" kind of sentiment suitable for a card. I felt this needed to be a face-to-face conversation.
I got to do that last week. In all the years of teaching, Ellie was the first tack-in-the-chair incident the teacher had to deal with and the first tack-in-the-bottom she had to pluck out. Ellie is good like that. Good for giving you a story to tell. I have often heard, "Never, in all my years as a school nurse…" through the phone when being called at home with an Ellie story. See "Puked In the Head" for another example.
So once the tack was plucked, Ellie got sent right to the nurse. Ellie has a little problem with the nurse. Not a problem. An obsession. She likes to go see the nurse. To "check in" as she likes to call it. She is no hypochondriac. I'm not sure what it's all about but I think she needs a little break from time to time. Or attention. Or both. It's either a rush or a comfort. She figured out in the 1st grade that if you complain of a stomach ache you could get Goldfish crackers. Claim to be weak and/or shaky--score some apple juice. It was better than a vending machine to her!
The nurse was out so a substitute nurse was there. A substitute who happened to be the mother of a boy in Ellie's class. Ellie had to, literally, be pantsed so the nurse could check to see if the tack had broken off.
Ellie seemed okay with the whole thing. She started the story by saying, "Interesting thing happened to me today…" like she was going to go right into a how-I-got-picked-to-take-attendance or a I-made-it-to-second-base-in-kickball story. But then again, she is my daughter, and these things have happened to her since, well, birth. In fact, I retell her tales by starting out, "I have a new Ellie story…" It's better than "Once upon a time" and heavily implied with a "Pull up a chair, you're going to want to hear this."
God bless her.