We’ve Got the Vapors

The polyurethane sealer for the wood floor vapors, that is.

It’s stinky in a way that has stages.

When you walk through the front door it’s STRONG.

Then you kinda settle in with it 

when the headache starts.

We walked in Sunday evening to find the floor guy just packing up to go home.

The floors looked shiny and wet.

The smell was fresh and INTENSE.

We decided to watch TV upstairs.

Then Monte said something that made us dissolve into tears of laughter that neither one of us could remember the next morning.

Vapors.

We may be minus a few brain cells now.

The next day wasn’t bad at all until the builder called and said to peek behind the plastic covering in the hallway to see that the new wood wasn’t matching with the old wood which wasn’t matching with the original wood in the living room.

Follow that?

So the wood guy had to restain and reseal that area.

Which meant an extra 2 DAYS of stinky.

Stinky but less than before 

because it was just a small area.

No vapor-induced giggles.

Hopefully, brain cells remained intact.

Yesterday, I came home around 3:00 to find the hardwood guy packing up for good.

The ENTIRE new space had been given a 2nd coat of poly.

It was thick with stink.

I picked up the girls from track and immediately took them to grab a quick dinner before we had to go to a middle school track meeting.

McDaniel opted to go with us, that’s how bad the smell was.

We came home and opened every window and then retired, once again, upstairs.

Ellie found a mask in the linen closet to wear as she packed her lunched downstairs.

The headaches came back.

I felt like I could taste the smell in my mouth.

Then Monte decided to take the dog out one last time for the night.

Somehow his slipper folded around the last few steps of the stairs and down he went with a thud as I was washing my face in the bathroom.

Good thing I had actually used the bathroom BEFORE I washed my face

because, well, 

I blame it on the vapors,

I fell to a squat position 

and dissolved into laughter.

Although I’m not kidding myself,

I would’ve done that even without 

the influence of vapors.

Falling is funny to me.

Ellie woke up with all

my laughter, 

Monte’s repeated, “I fell. My foot. I fell! My foot!” mutterings, 

McDaniel’s laughter 

and Nigel’s sniffing out the whole situation, 

very much still needing to go outside to do his business.

Back upstairs, I looked at Monte’s foot and offered him a frozen bag of blueberries since we haven’t had ice since October.

He would have none of it.

This morning, Monte was sporting quite the bruise on top of his foot along with a jazzy limp and nasty disposition.

Monte has had it rough having to  “take care of his business” at the Speedway gas station down the street because the line for the bathroom gets too long in the mornings.

We are all still sharing one shower and one toilet.

And Monte never seems to remember 

what color toothbrush is his.

We’ve got the vapors bad over here.

But it’s warmer today and I have all the windows open and I can hear the birds chirping--

even over the backed up sump pump spilling water into a nasty pool in the side yard.

Think a REALLY loud flushing toilet sound 

but splashing onto the ground with a loud SPLOOSH!

It’s a good reminder that even though we can’t get to the basement right now to see it, HOUSTON, THERE IS STILL A PROBLEM!

And it’s leaking right into our basement.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, people.

I can see it!

Unless that’s the vapors too.

I need some fresh air!