Wednesday, March 25, 2015

"The Best Part of the Entire Fort Trip"

We have only seen the sun briefly here in Florida.

So we’ve been taking in the sights, shopping and basically, trying to kill time until the sun decides to make another appearance.

We came to this part of Florida almost 10 years ago when Ellie was still in a car seat.

We had such a good time then even though we took two trips to the hospital, it suddenly dropped to 47 degrees during an evening of putt-putt golf and McDaniel almost lost her big toe nail when she “shoveled” it trying to dig a moat around her sand castle.

But we’ve come to expect those kind of things in our family.

We call them “good times”.

The highlight back then was a visit to the historic fort in the area.

There were people dressed in period costumes and the girls got to help make reindeer shoes in the blacksmith shop.

Yesterday, I decided we should revisit the fort since the day was gray and super windy.

The fort must’ve lost some funding because there was only one guy in costume and very few people touring it.

There was no blacksmith shop in sight.

It was like there was never a blacksmith shop.

We walked up steep spiral staircases to view the cannons on top of the fort forgetting Monte’s gout which slowed him down considerably.

He said, “Ow!” a lot.


Check out the big ship in the ocean sailing by!

Before my hair went wild.



The wind at the top of the fort was intense 
and made my hair betray me.

I could see precious little but my hair.

The girls were smart and had their hair pulled back.

We walked around the entire fort in very little time.

I was so disappointed.

Everyone touring the fort was well into their 90s so Monte didn’t feel so bad about his slow descent on the many stair cases in the fort.

On the way out, I decided to use the bathroom before we left the state park.

As I was zipping my pants, 

I was suddenly shoved into the stall wall 
by someone pushing the door open HARD.

My cheek squished into the wall
of a public restroom, people!

I had to yell to get the “pusher” to stop pushing!!

Which must have sounded weird considering my compromised cheek position.

There were words of apology or something but I can’t remember due to the intensity of the heartbeat in my ears as my blood pressure rose in anger.

Every single person in that fort was 90.

What Amazonian strength did the woman have 
to pin my face against the bathroom stall wall?!

I was caught off guard.
But still…

I was seriously considering waiting around to “have a final word” with the “pusher”. 

I know. 
I was going to “tell off” 
an elderly woman with 
super hero strength. 
Not. Wise.

But then I looked in the mirror and saw my hair.

To say that it was wildly untidy is too kind.

Too sophisticated.

I looked like I had been electrocuted 
and given a few dread locks 
at the same time.

With great volume.


I quickly decided that “having words” with an elderly woman who just compromised my body’s good germ vs. bad germ ratio with hair that looked like I slept under a bridge,

might call into question my sanity.

So I stomped to the car and angrily told my family my story as we left the park.

They laughed until they cried.

Okay. 
In all my shock and anger,
I wasn’t able to step back long enough to see
ALL THE FUNNY
in being pinned in a bathroom stall
by a freakishly strong old lady
sightseeing in a fort.

Monte said it was the best part of the entire fort trip.

3 comments:

  1. Looks like fun...thanks for sharing with the Thursday Blog Hop!

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  2. Have been laughing for days about this. See? You didn't get sick. Your probably built your immunity thanks to that Amazonian 90 year old lady

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  3. I love your stories, Karmen!

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