With Friends Like These…

As we made preparations to leave for Indiana for my grandmother's funeral,

I asked my girlfriend, Carisa, to pick up our dog Nigel from the boarder

so he'd be home when we got home Saturday night.

That meant Carisa had a key to our house.

[Can anyone else hear the foreboding dramatic music of doom in the background?]

Yeah, neither did I.

Which is why I gave her the key to our house.

On our drive home, 

I got a sweet call from my friend Sumita asking about the funeral.

She was with Carisa

in my house.

She called to let me know Nigel was okay.

And to see if I was okay.

As we talked I got the distinct feeling she was distracted.

I heard muffled giggles.

Carisa!

(Said like Seinfeld saying, "Newman!")

I asked if Carisa was trying on my clothes.

Or hiding a clown on my husband's side of the bed.

(Which is basically the same thing as attempted murder.)

I got a distracted sing-songey "Noooo" for an answer.

Hhmmmm…

Then the pictures started coming via text:

Sorry for the squat picture. I have no idea why it is this way.

Yeah, that is Carisa drinking RIGHT OUT OF the milk carton.

I texted her back that there was a 

really good chance that was expired. 

We aren't so much for milk around here.

Friends don't eat friend's custard.

As soon as Carisa heard of my grandmother's passing, 

she was at my door with a fruit custard.

She said, 

"I'm Southern, we bring food."

We sat at the table and ate a piece of it together.

It was very precious.

FYI:  Whole Foods makes THE BEST fruit custard. 

Or is it called tart? 

Now I'm getting confused.

But it is so good!

On MY bed.

On MY side.

Reading MY book 

(Phil Robertson's "Happy, Happy, Happy" 

that I haven't even started yet, 

thank you very much!)

With MY dog.

Now she is using MY lip balm.

From the driver's seat, Monte told me to text back this,

"That isn't lip balm!"

Undeterred,

the pictures kept coming.

Sorry for the sideways view, but it actually looks better this way.

Sumita napping with Nigel at the apparent party in our bedroom.

Some guard dog Nigel is. 

He is powerless against snuggles.

Again, sorry for the squattiness of this picture.

Sumita perusing my necklace selection.

Yes, my necklaces are displayed on a branch from my backyard shoved in a bottle.

I have an issue with "Out of sight, out of mind."

Which is probably why there is a pile of stuff 

on the floor of my bedroom behind Sumita. Ahem!

Sumita in McDaniel's room 

wearing her SIZE 10 Mickey Mouse slippers.

This is adorable since Sumita has a smaller foot than my 5th grader.

Really Carisa? Really?!

We had all of our toothbrushes with us so  "Whew"!

Sigh of relief.

Honestly!

After a quick text to Sumita to make sure Carisa was indeed CLOTHED, 

I told them we were only 45 minutes away 

and I may or may not have told them to get out of my house.

Lessons learned:

•always clean your house before you leave town

(you just NEVER know)

•train your dog to be an ACTUAL guard dog

(not a snuggle bunny little muffin man 

who will not defend your property

or your dignity)

•get your key back

(Um, I don't recall ever getting it back.)

•thank God for friends that pitch in to help

and make you laugh when you need it most.

Love you guys!

(But seriously, about the key…)