Dinosaurs

I have had a “thing” about dinosaurs since before I can remember.

I’m not just saying that.

My love for dinosaurs PRE-DATES my memory.

I could spell the word dinosaur before I bothered to learn to spell my last name.

I knew all their names, how to pronounce them, how to spell them and what period they lived in.

I read EVERYTHING both my school and town’s library had pertaining to dinosaurs.

I remember writing to the publisher of one book to let them know of an error.

What a nerd!

My absolute dream and the subject of many a story I’d write, was that somehow I could be transported back in time to when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

To see them live and up close.

I had just graduated college when I read Michael Crichton’s “Jurassic Park”.

This book rocked my world.

I loved it and hated it at the same time.

A dinosaur theme park?

Sign me up!

Tyrannosaurus Rexes and Velociraptors?

No thank you.

I was more of a Brontosaurus and Triceratops girl myself.

I distinctly remember staying up late at a friend’s house reading Jurassic Park.

At the exact moment I was reading when the Raptors were click-click clicking their claws on the tile floor of the kitchen after the kids,

my friend’s dog decided to click-click click his toenails on the hardwood floors my way.

I jumped, threw my book and the dog screamed.

Or maybe that was me.

My opinion of wanting to see dinosaurs live and up close was forever changed.

But I still “dig” dinosaurs.

Pun intended.

Going on a fossil dig 

is on my bucket list.

Emphasis on “dig” not staring at one living 

and breathing in my face 

and wanting to rip my intestines out 

while I’m still alive.

That is most certainly NOT on my bucket list.

So last week leading up to the premiere of “Jurassic World”, Ellie and I decided to catch up on all the Jurassic Park movies to date while Monte was out of town.

McDaniel could only handle bits and pieces of the movies.

Mainly because so many people ended up in bits and pieces.

While none can compare to the first one, I was pleasantly surprised by how not totally terrible the third movie was.

And shocked I’d never bothered to see it.

I was up early one morning last week watering my garden when I heard a bird that took me right inside all of the movies we'd been watching.

I could say I didn’t jump.

But it would be a lie.

I did jump.

And I looked around a little panicky, 

trying to make sure there wasn’t one of these waiting to spit in my face.

Seriously,

the bird sound was JUST like this!

And I’m not just saying that because we’d spent the 

last three nights watching dinosaurs eat everything 

in their sight.

I went ran inside and texted Monte that I might be on dino-overload.

He texted back that he’d heard the 

EXACT SAME NOISE 

walking to his car before work just a few days earlier.

And it seemed to be coming from one of the trees 

in our neighbor’s back yard.

Nothing puts a little speed in your step 

like a prehistoric animal squawk

that’s stalking you from the neighbor’s backyard.

I decided to Google the sounds that were used in the Jurassic Park movies to emulate the dinosaurs.

Fun fact:  the hooting sound the raptors make in the first movie is the tortoise mating call.

Sorry if that ruins things for you.

Like ever looking at a tortoise the same again.

After perusing the list, I narrowed down the possibilities.

I texted Monte back that the culprit was either a swan or a hawk.

Since I’ve never seen a swan in my neighbor’s tree, 

my money’s on the hawk.

We went to see “Jurassic World” over the weekend.

As we waited for the movie to start, four 8-year-old girls sat down in front of us.

They had sparkly bows in their hair, Slurpee's in their hands and parents that kept walking past them to let them know they were “just a few rows back” if they needed anything.

Monte asked if he should shake the back of their seats to give them a scare during the previews.

I reminded him that he would’ve punched the guy in the head who did that to our girls when they were 8.

He agreed.

The movie was awesome!

Everything I feared it would be it was not.

I was afraid it would take itself too seriously,

be WAY to CGI-focused,

include incorrect dinosaurs,

and involve aliens.

McDaniel and Ellie were afraid I’d embarrass them 

with all my nerdy dinosaur facts.

The theater was full and there was a group sitting in the back that had no problem breaking out in boisterous applause when their “chosen heroes” came on screen.

I’m looking at you, nerd character, Larry and T-Rex.

SOURCE

Oh yeah, I was SO NOT the 

nerdiest one there.

Sorry, Chris Pratt and Raptor named Blue.

SOURCE

Blue is not laughing here, FYI.

Yes, the audience actually CHEERED for the T-Rex!

The same T-Rex that ate ALL the crew members on the ship bound 

for San Diego in the movie “Lost World”.

Well played, director, Colin Trevorrow

Well played.

Somewhere in the middle of the T-Rex scene,

all four of the little girls in front of us got up,

without saying a word,

 and ran out of the theater.

We couldn’t help but laugh.

They’d had enough.

And they were not about to be a part 

of the group cheering for the T-Rex.

We ran into those girls in the bathroom after the movie was over.

They were wide-eyed and drained of all color.

Traumatized.

My guess is these girls could easily spell their last name before they could spell the word “dinosaur”.

And they probably couldn’t tell an Ankylosaurus from a Stegosaurus. 

Or a Brachiosaurus from a Brontosaurus.

Sorry. 

My geek was showing for a second.

And it probably will NEVER be their wildest dreams to see one live and up close EVER.

I’m with you on that girls!

I am totally with you.