Machinery!!

Minutes after I hit the publish button on my last post, (No Machinery. No Hard Hats.) machinery showed up!!

We weren’t expecting digging to happen until Friday or Monday so when the doorbell rang and the guy asked me to move my car out of the driveway, I was WAY okay with it!!

The cutest little Tonka toy looking machine zoomed into the backyard super fast.

Within seconds the patio that Monte and my brother-in-law, Nate, (before he was our brother-in-law) built was sitting in the bottom of a dump truck.

And I was going to save a piece of the stone!

The entire house shook as the Little Machine That Could started picking up and dropping huge pieces of the concrete slab that our den once sat on.

Each drop broke the concrete into smaller, more manageable pieces to scoop into the dump truck.

And sent Nigel into a fit of barking, fear and more barking.

“Get off my lawn!" 

Nigel howling in disapproval.

I watched with the fascination of a 4-year-old boy.

I kept thinking of the kid’s show Ellie watched 

when she was little, Bob the Builder.

“Can he fix it? Yes he can!"

Minus the eyeballs and the blue cat, it was Scoop from the show!!

I really, really, REALLY wanted to go out and ask if I could drive Scoop,

just for a second.

But I was blocked in by the dump truck and the fact that Scoop never stopped for even a minute for me to ask.

Not even when its driver got a phone call.

I’m dead serious.

I watched him answer the phone, 

not once, 

TWICE 

while driving!!

Can you imagine that conversation?

(Of course I did.)

“Sure, honey, meat loaf will be fine. Gotta go, I’m working. Okay. Love you too!!”

I also watched Scoop pop a wheelie

IN BOTH DIRECTIONS,

at separate times, of course,

due to the weight of the concrete slabs.

I decided that maybe it would be just fine if I didn’t ask to drive.

I had to break away from all the excitement to take a quick shower.

Nigel let me know by barking and scratching at the bathroom door that this had arrived:

Oh, yeah, baby!

This episode of Bob the Builder just ramped up.

They were all in my backyard! Except Bob. 

This new piece of machinery dug into the earth like it was soft butter. 

I quickly forgot about Scoop and really, REALLY wanted to drive this new thing.

I started worrying about my beloved Sycamore when all these broken roots started getting exposed.

The hole took no time at all to dig!

Then the large scoop-like machine finished 

and cruised down our driveway. 

 Ignore the dead hanging plant. I have--since late July.

The neighbor and I decided this hole would make a fantastic pool 

and we should just go ahead and fill it with water.

Too bad they took the water spicket away the same day the AC went to live in the garage.

A form was built to hold the cement footer.

The next morning, as I drank my coffee and worked on my bible study homework, I stared at the makeshift ladder that had been built to get the workers in and out of the hole.

I think I know how Alice from Alice in Wonderland felt when she saw the bottle with the little tag that read, “Drink Me”.

It was FAR too tempting. 

I decided that it was my hole and I could stand in it if I wanted to.

I roped Carisa into photographing it.

I didn’t realize that she just kept snapping the pictures.

Me inspecting the extension cord that was running
from the basement window, through the hole, to the
garage refrigerator since the power to the garage had
been cut. I’d just been to Trader Joe’s for crying
out loud. Priorities.

 She managed to catch me recovering after I tripped over the extension cord.

As she pointed out, there was only ONE THING in the ENTIRE HOLE that I could possibly trip over. AND I FOUND IT.

Then I discovered ALL THE WETNESS around what used to be our garden hose spicket. Our builder keeps saying to us, 

“I’m so glad we are doing this now.”

Translated:  “Your house was about to cave right in from 

carpenter ants and wetness."

After my spectacular extension cord trip, Carisa must’ve thought my ascent from the hole on the makeshift ladder was going to be quite the show.

I love her shadow taking the pictures.

Because she recorded just about every step.

Even Nigel was afraid he was going to miss something.

Peeking over the edge of the window.

I had to go get my hair cut colored. And I missed this while I was gone!

They poured the cement without me! Which meant a CEMENT TRUCK with the spinning tank and everything was here and I didn’t get the chance to want to drive it.

I wasn’t the only one fascinated with our backyard hole.

Julie and her daughter Robyn stopped by:

Falling in the hole!!! 

McDaniel’s Young Life leader came by before the Homecoming Dance Saturday.

Trying to recreate Julie and Robyn’s picture.

Our neighbor came by before her date picked her up.

And numerous other friends and neighbors have been by to look at the hole.

Yesterday, Monte decided that he would regret it if he didn’t stand in the hole.

This morning these were delivered. 

I’m hoping that means a cement truck will be pulling into our driveway any minute.

I will keep you posted.

No Machinery. No Hard Hats.

The den came down on Monday.

When the word “demolition” was first mentioned I had “move that bus!” TV reality show like thoughts in my head.

I certainly expected machinery. 

And hard hats.

I watched said machinery take down Carisa’s house.

So I didn’t dream it up.

I realize now that our builder never actually mentioned a word about machinery in the same sentence as “demolition”.

Or hard hats.

 I just naturally filled in the blanks 

and fully planned to have a picture taken 

with me ON the machinery.

Possibly wearing a hard hat.

But early Monday morning the only thing that rolled into my driveway was a normal size truck and a man on a bicycle.

Yes! He rode his bike to my house.

To tear it down.

I love that and find it incredibly funny 

at the same time.

Two men went to work on the den with a hammer and a crow bar.

They took down each wooden plank, board by board.

No sledge hammers.

No crashing.

No smashing.

HGTV has really ruined me on the 

expectations of home improvement.

Thanks a lot, Property Brothers!

As one man started on the wood siding, another was on the roof taking off the shingles.

After a few hours and my view still looked like this:

I wanted to go out and grab his hammer 

and start knocking down the den myself.

A dumpster was delivered later in the morning and I snapped this picture for Monte.

Nothing excites that man quite like an empty dumpster.

It’s like a blank canvas to an artist. 

Monte had ALL KINDS of ideas of how to fill it 

with 15-year-old paint cans and old yard chemicals.

Monte and I were absolutely convinced (with all the leaks this room has had in the past) that this part of the house was completely rotten and could be pushed over by hand.

Not so! By the looks of all the tugging and pulling and pushing and hammering, it was remarkably solid!

Monte and I were also preparing ourselves for the discovery of termites because

1) The number of dead stink bugs I found in the den cabinets.

2) Last winter's lice infestation.

3) Our neighbor found termites in her house a few years ago when she added on. (They probably just shooed them right on out of her yard to ours, right?)

BUGS JUST LIKE OUR HOUSE.

Praise God, we didn’t have termites! 

We had carpenter ants.

There were tunnels and street corners and intersections 

and apparently a mayor and city council 

because they had been there for some time.

The builder showed me what one looked like and I was like, 

Oh hey, I’ve seen him before. INSIDE the house.

Why? Because BUGS JUST LIKE OUR HOUSE.

Our interior French Doors have now become our exterior doors.

And not to brag, but I get this sweet view every day right from my living room.

Our dog Nigel is just beside himself. 

The den is where his food and water used to be.

His bed.

His toys. 

His best view of the squirrels and birds from the top of my red chair.

He can’t quite get used to the change.

We put his bed in our room upstairs.

His toys in the living room.

His food and water in the kitchen.

He walks around sighing loudly with his nub of a tail down and his head hanging low because no one asked him and NONE OF THIS WILL DO.

Yesterday, I caught him banging his head on the French doors MORE THAN ONCE trying to open them to see what in the world has happened to life as he once knew it.

He’s also afraid of the backyard.

Maybe because he doesn’t recognize it anymore.

Or maybe because it’s just a painful reminder of what once was.

As Monte put it this morning,

“You are a dog. Get over it and poop in the backyard!”

Can you hear the sighing?

Interesting lack of compassion coming from the man deeply disappointed that the dumpster was filled to capacity (and there are still gutters behind the Sycamore) and he could not toss in paint cans and chemicals to his heart content.

In preparation to start digging, the air conditioner was dismantled 

and put into our garage this morning.

Good thing it’s going to warm up again this weekend.

And McDaniel will be primping to go to the Homecoming Dance.

I think Nigel won’t be the only one banging his head on the doors 

and walking around sighing.

Cleaning Out, Packing Up

Yep, we decided to build on to our house,

that’s just one of many reasons why we had a yard sale back in May,

to start the process of cleaning out before 

we started packing up.

A few weeks ago we cleaned out the garage so that we could load it up with boxes from the den/office that was getting ready to be torn right off the house.

We found all kinds of things stored in the garage that we had not seen in a loooooong time.

Hello, VHS Tae Bo tape.

 There was this gem:

Monte and his siblings Bryson, Bradley and Gretchen. I didn’t realize
there were split-rail fences in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.
Or the need to ever wear so many layers.
Or  large lapels.

 If you want to know the effects of storing pictures 

in a non-temperature controlled garage, 

just check out Monte’s orange eye. 

I wasn’t excluded in the treasure finds:

I was 15 and this was my cheerleading picture.

Seriously, who puts a 15-year-old on her belly on a picnic table?! 

Can’t you tell by my forced smile that I wasn’t digging it? 

Or maybe it was the strain on my neck having to hold up 

my enormous Dora the Explorer hair.

=








We found this poster that was made by our friend, Chris, who displayed it at our engagement party.

Monte and I met while working at the corporate headquarters of Waffle House in Atlanta. I was in corporate communications and Monte was in risk management.

I wrote a company newsletter called “Waffle Chatter”.

I didn’t name it. 

I had a column called, “Dear Karmen” like “Dear Abbey” except way more contrived with me answering questions about employee issues and the appropriate temperature in which to cook grits.

I started another column called “Safety Man” with Monte (before I knew him) and he’d offer facts about safety issues in the restaurants and how to deal with disability claims.

Both of those pictures in the above poster came from an actual “Waffle Chatter” issue.

I think I remember telling Monte not to touch his face like that in the photo shoot.

But he did it anyway.

Back to the garage.

We sorted.

We tossed.

We donated.

We sold.

We reorganized.

It took two days.

And it was a hot and steamy two days.

Good thing we had a canopy tent still set up from a birthday dinner.

I got so heat-fatigued at one point that I found myself staring inside a hunter green and navy floral frame trying to figure out who the girl in the high-waisted acid washed jeans and big 80s hair was.

Then I realized

it was the picture that came WITH the frame.

I swear, she looked familiar!

I have always wanted all our seasonal decorations to be organized BY SEASON in an easy to retrieve kind of way.

But I’ve always voiced that desire in December when we couldn’t find all the Christmas boxes 

and IT WAS FREEZING outside.

So we got McDaniel to paint chalkboard paint on the edge of our loft and FINALLY organized all things holiday!!!

This is very exciting to me!!

We can see the floor of our garage!!

There’s an enormous crack in it, 

but hey, 

we can see it!!

With the garage finished, I was able to move on to the den/office. 

I just stalled out for some reason. 

I’m usually a roll up my sleeves, 

let’s get this done, 

kind of worker 

but I could not. get. motivated.

Overwhelming.

I kept finding things to distract me.

This basketball game kept me sufficiently away from packing until I realized my high score of 17 consecutive shots paled in comparison to Ellie’s 30.

So I had Carisa come over to entertain me while I cleaned. 

She told me no one needed as many pine cones as I had 

stored in Ziploc bags in the cabinets of the den.

I will have you know I kept every single bag of them.

Even Monte commented that I was dragging my feet and that’s usually my comment for him.

But I persevered.

And sorted.

And tossed.

And donated.

And sold.

And organized.

And packed.

And got some pretty serious cramps in my back and legs.

I took down the maps that I hung on the back of the shelves a few years ago. 

I kept some (that I didn't rip, and threw away the ones that I did).

I found a lipstick kiss on the border of California and Nevada and remembered that it came from a video broadcast project Ellie and McDaniel did a few years ago.

Ellie did a news broadcast explaining volcanoes and wanted to break away to a weather report, McDaniel being the meteorologist.

I let them each wear lipstick that we later realized was actually stain and it didn’t come off for HOURS! 

Which required an explanation when Ellie 

went to dinner with her friend’s family.

I can’t remember why McDaniel decided it was necessary to kiss the map during her weather report but she did.

I made this desk out of a door and two wooden snack tables and several rulers tacked to the edges. It served us well for a few years but we weren’t sure where to put it.

So we put it on our curb with a FREE sign on it.

The next morning it was still there and I was struck with a plan. 

With the adrenaline of a new idea, I was able to get the desk into the garage ALL BY MYSELF.

I know, it was like I became the Incredible Hulk.

But without the anger.

Or the green.

I put it in the basement in my craft room. 

Now Ellie can sew while someone does their homework.

If that ever is a situation that needs to happen.

In fact, all the packing and moving inspired a lot more packing and moving.

On top of just trying to get that den/office cleaned out, I decided to completely reorganize my craft room.

And move an armoire from our bedroom to the craft room.

And a little farm table from the craft room to the bedroom.

Because, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie…

I think you get the picture.

Monte and I decided the best way to move the armoire down the stairs 

would involve a quilt, him in front of the armoire, me behind it 

and Ellie with the telephone, her fingers poised to dial 9-1-1.

We all lived. 

But we decided that may go on the list 

as one of the dumber things we’ve done.

But we finally finished!!!

Yucky dirty carpet.

All Because Our Fridge Died

Are you familiar with the children’s book, “Because a Little Bug Went Ka-choo!”?

The general idea is that this little bug sneezed, 

which blew off a seed 

which hit a worm on top of the head 

which made him mad and he kicked a tree 

and basically set off a series of events that ended up with Farmer Brown, 

a bucket stuck on his head, 

marching in a parade in his long underwear.

Things just escalated quickly.

Well, we have found ourselves in a somewhat similar situation at our house.

You may remember me mentioning that our refrigerator died last winter.

Completely and without question.

Dead.

We lived out of a cooler for about a week.

So Monte and I rushed and researched and picked out a new one.

We measured and measured and even had the neighbor 

come over and measure again so we’d know exactly 

what size refrigerator to purchase.

We like to shop at this place that is known for discounts on discontinued models and scratch and dents.

We decided on a fridge that has the freezer on the bottom that pulls out like a drawer and has two doors that open on top.

It’s awesome! 

And thanks to the dent in the side, 

it was in our price range.

I wasn’t home when the fridge was delivered. Monte arranged to meet the the delivery guys.

The fridge slid into the cabinet space beautifully. 

Monte didn’t think to open both of the refrigerator doors. He just kinda peeked in one and went back to work.

When I got home I realized that I couldn’t open the right door all the way.

Not even close to all the way. 

This is me pushing the door all the way
against the wall with my knee for the
sake of this photo.

Something about the size of the hinges on top of the door 

and the proximity of our fridge to the wall .

I couldn’t even put the shelves in the right-hand side of the door because when it is semi-not-really-open the double-wide meat/cheese drawer (which is AWESOME) wouldn’t open.

So we had an incredible new huge fridge that we could only use half of because we couldn’t quite reach things on the right-hand side even if we stretched.

And if we could shove something over there--it froze.

Like my hummus.

And the eggs.

And my grapefruit Perrier.

Which was weird.

But not as weird as cracking open a frozen egg 

and watching that frozen mess plop into the bowl.

So we called the appliance place back about returning the fridge and the thing about buying from a place that sells discontinued and scratch and dents, well, they don’t really want to take the outdated, beat up stuff back.

Especially since Monte had already signed off 

that everything was A-OK at delivery.

Then we brainstormed about moving the fridge in the pantry and then making a pantry in the space that held the fridge.

During what was supposed to be a meeting with a guy to make the switch,

 we must've heard a little bug ka-choo,

because things escalated quickly.

We ended up getting plans drawn for an addition to the back of our house.

Actually, the plans included a 2-story addition 

but we opted not to pull a complete Farmer Brown 

and find ourselves in a parade, 

in our long underwear ,

with a bucket stuck on our heads.

I.E. Not be able to afford to put food in the fridge 

that we hope to soon be able to use fully 

as the manufacturer intended.

But we agreed to the first floor addition.

All because our fridge died.