The Praying Mantis

Recently we went to an outdoor wedding.

I got to talk with friends I haven't seen in awhile.

While talking at a table with one lovely friend, 

a praying mantis seemed to fall from the sky right onto her shoulder.

She swatted it away but before long, it reappeared on the back of her chair.

I flicked it away.

Like, seriously, 

took aim with my finger 

and flicked it right in the face.

It was out of character for me, 

and kind of gross because it took a few times 

to get it to release its grip and fall away.

But I'm no hero, 

my friend casually flicked it away 

like it was NO. BIG. DEAL.

I forgot all about it until days later when I was outside watering my flowers.

I didn't see a praying mantis,

 but I remembered the one I saw.

I wasn't sure why so I went inside and did a little research on them.

Up until then, I would've thought the praying mantis was relative to the butterfly, 

a beautiful, peaceful creature thinking calm thoughts 

as it hangs out on a screen door 

looking to be spiritual.

Every image I saw from my search showed how greatly enlarged their forelegs are--like the forearms of Popeye. They use them for catching and gripping prey. 

They sit in wait, 

ready to pounce at any moment, 

with those Popeye legs folded 

in a praying like posture.

They feed on moths, crickets and grasshoppers 

but they will also eat birds (?!)

 and the female has been known 

to eat the male after mating.

Their closest relatives are termites and cockroaches. 

No butterflies in that family tree, not even twice removed.

So their reunions must be fun…

As I looked through the images, it struck me how, 

after reading of their strength and strategy, 

they looked more like a boxer ready to fight 

than a creature of peace ready to pray.

I've been pondering that… 

    how I underestimated the praying mantis.

Prayer is our weapon for battle, for sure.

It might seem to others to be a peaceful, 

passive action, 

but it can be powerfully explosive and active.

Especially to the enemy.

I've heard Priscilla Shirer say that when we put on the armor of God, it's prayer that activates it.

It's why some call their prayer areas at home war rooms. 

We need to remember to pray.

In the opposite school of thought, 

I've been pondering how the praying mantis 

is an example of how things aren't always what they seem.

Sometimes what seems like an innocent praying creature falling from the sky onto our shoulder isn't that at all. 

It's the enemy with its fists up ready to attack if we aren't ready.

Or willing to notice.

It will keep coming for us 

until we flick it right in the face 

sending it sailing away.

Now, that might sound overdramatic, but things beyond flesh and blood usually are and it's when we are laughing them off or underestimating their strength that they crawl back and sit on the chair behind us waiting to prey on us.

We need to remember the enemy.

It's when we remember 

that we can recognize it.

And casually flick it off our shoulder 

because 

we know who 

and what it is.

It's when we rest in the ignorance that our enemy is related to a butterfly instead of a stone cold killer of birds and boyfriends that we find ourselves in trouble.

The View From My Neighbor's Yard

We got new neighbors in the midst of this global pandemic. They have sweet twins, one boy and one girl who just turned 8. With another boy due in January.

We've had lots of over the fence chats, driveway talks and side yard discussions over this long socially distanced shelter in place time.

The twins had a very small, mostly family birthday party that we got invited to.

We sat in the backyard and ate bbq and watched an epic girls vs. boys kickball game. 

Monte and I never wanted to play kickball more in our lives. 

Alas, we were not asked to join. 

So we cheered from the picnic table.

Sitting in our neighbor's backyard gave me a chance to see my yard from a different perspective. 

Monte and I noticed a piece of trim hanging a bit from the side of our garage that only they can see. 

Some of my Rose of Sharon limbs were scraggly  

and haphazardly growing through the fence. 

But the worst thing I discovered were these vines that had taken over the backside (or my neighbor's side) of the ornamental grasses and forsythia that separate our yards.

They were covered and I didn't even realize it!

I spent Saturday pulling the choking vines from my plants. 

Some had bloomed with the daintiest little misleading white flowers 

while I uncovered brown leaves underneath on my forsythia bush. 

And isn't that just how it is?

When we don't change our perspective every now and then, 

take the time to actually leave our own yard, 

we can't clean up what we don't see. 

We assume everything is ok because it looks good from the comfort of our own back patio.

From our safe distance, 

we might even get a glimpse of the vine's tiny white flowers blooming and think all is well, 

never realizing the damage 

its vines are doing to the plant underneath.

My yard cleanup was much overdue and it's going to take some serious maintenance to stay on top of. 

Lots of pruning. 

Cutting back.

Uprooting. 

I might even have to dig up and replant. 

But now that I've seen my yard from another's,

I can't pretend I didn't.

Watching

We were standing singing a song Sunday during church when I noticed a little girl staring at me. 

I smiled and she quickly turned away but I thought to myself that I was glad I had been singing when I was being watched and not just standing there, 

lost in my thoughts 

which sadly, 

happens sometimes to me 

during church.

Later, during a spirited part of the sermon, I watched as three dear, sweet, older ladies, helped each other out of their chairs and up to the front of the church for prayer.

I was watching.

It hit me that just as that little girl was watching me, I was watching those sweet dear ladies.

We never get over our need to watch someone.

To watch someone praise God.

To watch someone need Him.

To watch someone pray.

To watch someone sing.

To watch someone love.

To watch someone live like Jesus.

It was a good reminder to me that I'm being watched when I'm not at church too.

By people who may not know a single thing about Jesus.

They are watching how I handle disappointment.

How I handle stress.

How I handle anger.

How I handle forgiveness.

How I handle pain.

How I handle celebrations

How I handle friends.

How I handle people.

I don't handle any of those things perfectly but I want to remind myself that I'm being watched.

And to keep watching others.

Blessed are those who listen to me,

watching daily at my doors, 

waiting at my doorway. 

For those who find me find life

and receive favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 8:34-35

The Sweetest Worship

Sunday at church members of an international group who use our church building for their services, led worship.

It was so powerfully beautiful.

On top of their wonderful voices, they had such passion when they sang.

I honed in on one girl on the stage.

I'm not sure if she was terrified 

or just full-on in her teenagerness, 

but she sang with the stone face 

of no emotion.

I was intrigued.

50% of the people living in my house are teenagers.

I get it.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

A new song started and she was the solo vocalist.

Her voice was gorgeous.

As she sang each word, 

her face softened ever so slightly.

At one point she half-raised one arm and there was the tiniest hint of a smile on her face.

It overwhelmed me practically to tears.

I got it.

God rushes in like that,

even when we're trying super hard to stay right in our bad mood 

or bad attitude, even while singing a Chris Tomlin or Elevation Worship song, 

thank you very much.

God's bigger than our own worst mood.

And it's in that moment of turnaround 

that is the sweetest worship.

He floods us with grace and mercy and unconditional love and we can't help but forget for just a second what we were so honked off about.

And we start meaning the words we are singing.

I have this head planter that I adore that I named Hattie.

I enjoy sticking all kinds of flowers and plants I cut from my yard to give her different hair styles.

Monte did not care for this Hattie look.
He's always been partial to long hair.

When I refresh the water it makes Hattie a bit flushed.

One of my faves.

I had to trim these WAY down as I feared for my eyes as I worked in the kitchen.

I like to think Hattie was praying in this picture.
I will explain these tiny hands in a later post.

So festive.

This morning, I decide to refresh her look.

After a whiff of the nasty old flower water, 

I decided to give the inside of her head a good sudsy wash.

I couldn't help but think I was transforming her by renewing her mind, like in Romans 12:2

Getting out all the old stinking thinking gunk so my Rose of Sharons could stay nice and beautiful in clean fresh water.

In John 15:5 it talks about Jesus being the vine and we are the branches.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, 

you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

We have this great living water source in Jesus that is all we need to sustain us.

When we remain in Christ, 

not even a bad mood

or the stink we keep inside our head,

is too much for God to fix 

and make into beautiful fruit.

And it's in that moment of turnaround that is the sweetest worship.

Toddler Tired

In the midst of hosting family from out of town,

we decided to host whoever wanted to come over at 5:00 am 

to watch the Royal Wedding Saturday morning.

Ellie's sweet Young Life leader showed up.

I woke up at 4:45 to make tea and set out muffins, mini cinnamon rolls and fruit tarts.

There was NARY A SCONE to be had in this town.

I didn't realize that at 5:00 am it was mainly just watching the guests arrive and that it would be SOME TIME before we actually saw Meghan in her wedding dress.

The girls dozed at various points in the service and I was super glad my cousin was up early for a run to watch the fantastic Bishop Michael Curry's spirited message with me.

The wedding was beautiful, Meghan was stunning and I'm glad we got up to watch it.

After everyone left, we made breakfast for our company and then Monte and I decided to go for a long walk, 

which turned into running stadium stairs,

which turned into push-ups and sit-ups,

which turned into us running home in a DOWN POUR,

which turned into us just walking and laughing because running didn't keep us dry at all.

We were SOAKED.

After showering, I was pretty jazzed and decided to run a quick errand to look for new athletic shoes.

Not just because mine were soaking wet at home.

Somewhere during walking around the shoe store and trying a few pairs on, I hit a wall of tired.

Hard.

Monte had brought me a pair of shoes that he thought would be fantastic for me (i.e. cheap) and they felt like cement blocks on my feet.

I bent down to untie them and I just. couldn't.

I laid on the floor of the shoe store with my feet in the air SAYING NO WORDS.

Monte took my shoes off and we left.

On the way to the car I told him how I had a new understanding of why toddlers throw themselves on the floor when they get tired.

IT FELT PRETTY FANTASTIC!

Monte and I both agreed I needed a nap PRONTO.

It was around that time that I realized I had missed a call.

The name of the caller reminded me that I had committed to making several dozen cookies that day.

I almost cried.

Somehow, by the grace of God, I made close to 72 million cookies without crying.

Or throwing myself on the floor.

Then I made dinner.

All without a nap.

It's amazing what a lack of sleep does.

I felt cross-eyed.

I have a new appreciation for parents of newborns.

And for older parents of newborns.

But mostly for the people that live like this 

ALL. THE. TIME.

People that cram so much into each day that there is no time to sit and enjoy it.

There's always something else to go to, 

to say yes to,

to do, do, do.

My small group just discussed this idea of recharging.

Figuring out where all the pressures we are under are coming from.

Which ones we can get out from under 

so we can be more fully charged 

for what is the most important.

We are reading Priscilla Shirer's Fervent and she suggested that the many pressures in our our lives can resemble slavery.

"Slaves don't rest.
Slaves just work.
They don't control their agenda for the day;
the day's agenda controls them."

When we start thinking we CAN'T say no, 

then well, we are talking like a slave.

We are free.

We DO have the freedom to say no.

To allow ourselves space in our day to be still, 

to go to bed at a reasonable time, 

to be sensitive to what our body and mind are saying 

when it's cross-eyed tired.

I still don't think I have fully recovered because it's May and May is its own form of toddler tired without the royal wedding.

But I've planned some margin in my week to allow me some downtime to recharge for what I know will be a busy weekend.

Because of just a few no's,  I saw a frog outside my window this morning while I was watering my flowers.

I noticed the first peony of the season.

 I watched flags being installed along the sidewalks by a school for Memorial Day on my walk.

And I listened to an awesome sermon about Jesus coming to us 

in the midst of the storm.

I think my head planter I got for Mother's Day perfectly sums up my current mood.

"Eye Not Found"

I saw a blue jay yesterday morning. It was so vibrantly blue in the morning sun and HUGE. He flew close enough to the window that I could see the crest on his head and where the white feathers on his body met the blue.

It was beautiful.

I don't see blue jays often and consider it a real treat that I caught a glimpse.

It reminded me of a sermon I heard earlier this week.

It was about when something becomes so familiar to us that we cease seeing the amazement of it.

My husband grew up in Ft. Lauderdale and wearing shorts and flip flops all year 

and seeing pretty flowers and THE OCEAN every day was no big deal.

It certainly has become a VERY BIG DEAL

now that he has been living in the Midwest for the past 19 years.

The sermon pointed out how we can do that to God.

We can become so comfortable with life and the things in it coming through for us that we don't stop, acknowledge where it all comes from and let the amazingness of it to sink in.


I used my study bible to look up all the verses that use the word amazing.

There aren't that many and they are all in the New Testament.

When I used my Greek dictionary I found that all of the translations are from different forms of the word, like astounding.

Only one verse, Acts. 2:7, used the word amazing. It comes from the Greek word existemi which, broken down, comes from ex meaning out and hitemi, meaning to stand.

Put together it means to stand out.  "To be removed out of its place or state." In the New Testament it refers to the mind so it means to be out of one's mind, to be beside oneself with astonishment.

Somewhere between the New Testament and now, we've lost our ability to "lose our minds" over all God is doing or has done for us.

He made the blue jay, for crying out loud.

He's bright blue in a green and brown habitat.

Talk about being a stand out.

I went to the eye doctor this week and as I was looking through a machine that could photograph behind my eyeball, the machine spoke in a loud robotic voice,

"Eye not found."

I don't care who you are, 

you check to see if you can find your eye

after hearing such a statement.

The cute assistant said in a frustrated voice, to the machine, not me,

"Hey! I turned you on this morning, I can turn you off!"

Clearly, this wasn't her first 

"Eye not found" of the day.

And she was having none of it.

This machine was created to do ONE THING.

Photograph behind my eye.

My eye was UP CLOSE and looking RIGHT INTO IT.

But it couldn't find my eye.

In Mark 6 we are told the story of Jesus taking his disciples back to his hometown to teach and perform miracles.

When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, 

and many who heard him were amazed.

Mark 6:2a

They were amazed until they started asking who Jesus was. 

When they realized this was the dude they had grown up with they questioned,

"Where did this man get these things?" they asked. "What's this wisdom that has been given him that he even does miracles! Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us? 

And they took offense at him.

Mark 6:2b-3

This was no American Idol homecoming week with the parade, visit back to the old school and free concert at the end with everyone cheering and offering support.

No. They couldn't believe that one of their own, from rinky-dink small town Nazareth, could be anything more than a carpenter. 

In this context, carpenter was meant to be a slam such as, 

"Isn't he just as common as us?"

Read the verse above again. 

They didn't even say his name.

They mentioned his mother, Mary, 

and all his brothers 

and referenced his sisters

 but DID. NOT. SAY. JESUS.

They were right there with an up-close view.

"EYE NOT FOUND."

I'm not sure why, but they could not see or believe that Jesus was any different from them

 so how could he be something special, a stand-out anointed by God?

Maybe they were just too familiar with him as a carpenter

to ever see the amazingness that was him as our Messiah.

Jesus said to them,

"Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house 

is a prophet without honor."

Mark 6:4

The sermon I listened to pointed out that Jesus used this rejection from his own family and hometown friends as a lesson for the disciples.

They couldn't stop their ministry and performing miracles because some people early on failed to see it.

They became stronger and more humble because of it.

I did a little research on the blue jay.

Because of their vibrant color, they are easy prey.

Maybe that's why I don't see them often.

Or maybe I haven't been looking.

Rats, Rocky, Filling Gaps, Wonder Woman and the Armor of God

I'm still a little obsessed with rats.

I saw one dead on the street two days ago and instead of rejoicing that another one bit the dust, 

I felt this dread inside, 

"They're BACK!"

And it didn't help that someone nearby posted on Facebook a picture 

of a baby rat nest she found under her woodpile 

in her backyard.

Or that Nigel kept sniffing at a cabinet in the family room 

the other night like he SMELLED A RAT.

Literally.

I feel like I'm at the beginning of a big fight and I need to get prepared by getting the right shoes, equipment or be sent off to Russia to train in the snow and a barn the old school way like Rocky when he fought Drago.

Remember these crazy barn loft sit ups?

And how he lifted up that big wheelbarrow like cart
with Adrian, his trainer and his crazy brother-in-law just sitting in it watching
him struggle to lift them up?

I have a point, I promise.

I read a devotional the other day by Kelly Balarie at Purposeful Faith about a rat that got stuck in a hole in the siding of her garage.

Kelly knew the hole was there in her garage and knew she needed to fill it in but, like many things on our to-do list, it got pushed down in priority.

Overlooked.

Then a fat rat got stuck in the hole 

and the item on her to-do list raced 

to the top of the priorities for the day.

She goes on to say that in our lives, we all have gaps to fill in to keep unwanted things out.

Things we've been meaning to repair.

Tend to.

Things like our health, unforgiveness, anger.

We don't realize the risk each day when we bump those items down in priority on our to-do list.

Then we end up with two HUGE dead rats in our dryer vent.

The vent on the outside of our house was open with a small hood.

Anything could get in and DID.

We had no idea.

I don't even remember picking out that vent.

That's how little of a priority it was to me.

Now we have a vent with a magnetic cover to let the dryer exhaust out but not let unwanted creatures in.

We're protected.

God wants us protected too.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."

Ephesians 6:10-11

He not only wants us to be fully protected, but know who the real enemy is.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavily realms."

Ephesians 6:12

That's some heavy stuff.

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."

Ephesians 6:13

The cool thing about the armor of God, is that we are only asked to put it ON and STAND OUR GROUND. 

God does all the fighting.

So no Rocky crazy sit ups from a barn loft 

that would make me dizzy are necessary.

But we can't just sit in the wheelbarrow cart either,

waiting to be lifted up.

We have to actively put on the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, slip on our gospel of peace shoes, pick up our shield of faith, put on our helmet of salvation and hold the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (Ephesians 6:14-17)

Every day.

My bible study notes say about "standing your ground" and "standing firm:"

"In this context the imagery is not that of a massive invasion of the domain of evil, 

but of individual soldiers withstanding assault."

God is going before us and after us to do all the fighting in our very personal, individual, rat-infested lives. We just need to be armored up and stand firm.

It makes me think of the scene in the movie "Wonder Woman." 

There is a part where she is standing along side soldiers from World War I. There was a front line area called "No Man's Land" that the soldiers were afraid to cross into because it was where the most enemy fire would be encountered. 

Without crossing into it, the two sides remained at a stand still. 

Wonder Woman walked right into "No Man's Land" and held up her shield to deflect the incoming fire. There was an aerial shot of all the fire coming at her and her just standing firm behind her shield. 

There were so many bullets shot at her, bouncing off the shield, it seemed they were on fire.

via GIPHY

It made me cry.

We are often SO UNAWARE of all the "flaming arrows of the evil one" that are hurled at us.

We try to do life in our own power and get so weary and discouraged that we blame "being with the wrong person" or "being tired" or "being hormonal" or "being hangry."

We forget God gave us the perfect weapon, "take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." (Ephesians 6:16)

Wonder Woman didn't fight back, she just stood her ground and "withstood the assault." 

While doing so, the soldiers were able to gain ground.

God meant us to live victoriously because He has already won the battle. 

But the enemy isn't going to go out like the loser he is without a fight until the end.

He's going to try hard to make us forget about all the gaps in our lives.

The areas we've left wide open that need a vent cover.

He's going to try hard to distract us 

so we keep their repair low on our to-do list.

But God is in the business of fixing things.

It's why he sent His son to die for us--so things would be fixed for good for us.

Forever.

Let's go into this Easter weekend ARMORED UP, 

gaps filled 

and ready to STAND OUR GROUND.

Just

I love my prayer group. 

We laugh, cry and lean on one another.

We are a group of high school moms who gather once a week to pray for our kids, the school, the community and each other.

There's been a lot to pray about in the last two weeks.

While we were praying this morning, one of the ladies got a text from a friend asking for prayer because her son's school was on lockdown due to a threat. Her friend's son texted her that they'd moved a heavy cabinet in front of his classroom's door and he thought he was safe.

Thought he was safe?!

We immediately redirected our prayers.

We usually pray around a different attribute of God each week.

This week was "Just".

As in, God is just.

One who is right or fair, impartial, 

correct, true and upright.

In a climate where a teenage boy "thinks" he is safe locked in a classroom with a cabinet in front of the door,

where parents have to get panicked texts from kids huddled together in a classroom closet,

and some who don't 

because the worst has already happened,

it is hard to find the fairness 

or right of it all.

But we kept praying.

When we finished, one of our dear sweet friends pointed out that the word "Just" is the 'J' of Jesus and the 't' is the cross, with us in the middle.

I jumped up to write it down so I wouldn't forget.

God knows this is all too much for us to understand.

That's why He sent His son.

He sent him to die for us on the cross 

so we could be forgiven of our sins 

and have eternal life.

Jesus is for us.

He's with us.

And He is Just.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

"The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.

25-26 God sacrificed Jesus on the altar of the world to clear that world of sin. Having faith in him sets us in the clear. God decided on this course of action in full view of the public—to set the world in the clear with himself through the sacrifice of Jesus, finally taking care of the sins he had so patiently endured. This is not only clear, but it’s now—this is current history! God sets things right. He also makes it possible for us to live in his rightness."

Romans 3:23-26 MSG

* The teenage boy we prayed for is fine and a juvenile is in custody after the incident.

That's Love

This isn't about Valentine's Day.

Or sappy songs.

But this notion that we can love 

yet not accept God.

We are in a season where I think we all need to just take a minute and remember to love.

Not because it's February.

But because we were first loved.

God IS love.

Not just, God is loving.

Or God is a great example of love.

GOD. IS. LOVE.

His entire being is wrapped up in and all about love.

Therefore, we cannot love anything or anyone apart from Him.

He is the source.

He is love.

"We love because he first loved us."

1 John 4:19

My study notes in the NIV bible says about this verse that all love comes ultimately from God; genuine love is never self-generated by his creatures.

So, whether you want to acknowledge God or not, 

love comes from Him.

"And now these three remain:  faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13:13

Since God IS love, it stands to reason that love will outrank and outlast anything else.

It is the guiding principle of EVERYTHING we are called to do.

When we let fear, anger or pride take the wheel, things take a turn and we end up somewhere we never intended to go.

We can speak eloquently,

possess incredible intelligence 

and have powerful faith 

but if we do not have love?

We are a just a loud clanging noise.

We are NOTHING. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

Because the greatest thing we can do is love.

How do we love?

Get to know the source.

Read God's love letter to us in His word.

Talk to him through prayer.

Accept his love for you 

and feel it overflow in your heart so it spills over into 

how you love those around you.

If you haven't noticed, the world is filled with evil.

People are hurting.

People are shouting.

People are angry.

I actually read today on social media that someone was demanding others to stop saying to hurting people that they are in their "thoughts and prayers."

Because it didn't "do anything."

"The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

James 5:16b

Please join me in praying for all those involved in the school shooting in Ft. Lauderdale AND for those who want us NOT to pray. 

Not to be spiteful

but to be loving.

Whether you love God or not, 

He is already, 

right now, 

loving YOU.

In fact, He loves you so much that he's engraved your name on the palms of his hands. (Isaiah 49:16)

And he delights over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

And he loved this crazy world with you in it so much that he gave his only son to die for us so we can have eternal life. (John 3:16)

That's forever.

That's love.

SOURCE

My Eye and the Lamp

I came home from church last Sunday and got all set to read on the couch. My eye started to bother me so I decided to take my contacts out.

Even with my contacts out, my right eye felt like there was something in it.

Something like glass, 

jagged rocks 

or gasoline.

My eye would not stop tearing up.

It hurt to open it and it hurt to close it.

I would like to go on the record to say that pain in the eye is STOP THE WORLD pain.

I couldn't do anything. 

I have tennis elbow and it hurts CONSTANTLY.

But I still live my life.

This eye situation had me at a standstill.

Luckily, we have an eye doctor for a neighbor but she wasn't home. She was able to tell Monte a type of natural tears eye drops to purchase at the pharmacy.

Monte decided to go ahead and ask about an eye patch 

while he was there.

I totally would've worn it. 

I was that desperate and in pain.

Isn't it interesting that our first instinct in pain 

is to cover it up?

The pharmacist did not recommend the eye patch in case I had an infection and bacteria would certainly spread under the warm conditions of a patch over the eye.

The eye drops helped me stop tearing up constantly but my eye was pretty swollen and sore.

I went to the eye doctor in the morning.

He kept asking me questions trying to figure out what happened to me.

I couldn't help because I had no idea.

He asked me to number my pain.

I gave it a 10 and he reacted like I had just answered with a letter.

I dislike any question that seems like 

there are no wrong answers 

until you answer it 

and get a wrong answer reaction.

I wanted to point out that I'd had two babies and would gladly have 12 more to not have one more second of that eye pain.

But I wanted to move on to the part where my eye was going to get fixed.

It was determined that I had two divots in my eye.

"Like golf," the doctor explained.

Not good.

Especially since I CANNOT THINK 

of what whacked two holes in my eyeball.

He gave me a prescription for an antibiotic eye drop and told me to wear my glasses exclusively.

He told me to change out all my makeup just in case there was a reaction.

As I was leaving, he asked if I had prescription sunglasses, I said no but that I had big sunglasses and I'd just stick them over my glasses.

I got the wrong answer face again.

For the record, he was right about that not working. 

I pulled into the grocery store on a sunny day 

and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. 

My sunglasses didn't quite fit over my regular glasses and were pretty crooked.

I looked like I had either just had a liquid lunch 

or had been in a fight.

Or both.

When I went in for my follow up eye appointment I told the doctor the sunglasses over top of the glasses wasn't cutting it.

He gave me a role of sun blocking film to slide under my lenses.

He told me it wasn't a super great look 

but I was just going for something other than 

"drunken bar brawler" 

so it was all FINE BY ME.

During the follow up visit, the doctor was amazed at my progress. He commented that I shouldn't be this far along in my recovery and I fell in the 1% of people whose body healed quickly.

I was about to explain that 1% in my family's medical history meant something 

entirely different but I just took the win.

I walked outside this morning to see our street light looked a little different.

It was a post with no lamp on it.

The lamp was at the base of the post. I inspected to see if the glass was broken from a fall.

It wasn't.

It was then that I looked down the street to see ALL the lamp posts missing their lamps.

It was SO EERIE.

And not just because we've been watching Stranger Things.

But partly.

Clearly the city is doing some maintenance on the lamp posts but a street full of lampless posts is just, lacking.

[Anyone else humming "This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine?"]

We depend on that light to guide us home and help light our way on dog walks.

Just like I depended on my right eye to, 

you know, 

SEE.

It's not until it doesn't that we notice.

I certainly have taken eyesight for granted.

And well-lit streets.

And many other things, 

I'm sure.

It made me think of the verse in Psalm 119:105

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."

David had it right when he said in 2 Samuel 22:26, 

"You are my lamp, O LORD;

the LORD turns my darkness into light."

"No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead he puts it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light. Your eye is the lamp of your body. when your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness."

Luke 11:33-34

["Hide it under a bushel? No! I'm going to let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine."]