Enough with the Clowns Already

Day #3

Seriously.

Clowns of the world,

please stop dressing up in scary masks and chasing kids at the bus stop 

or home from school 

or following adults to their apartment doors.

Don’t just stand on the edge of a forest 

and watch people walk by.

Can you believe this?

There are very real, very scary things to be afraid of.

ISIS.

Disease.

The presidential election.

Why add to it?

There was a story on the local news the other night about what a bad rap GOOD clowns are getting.

I was very glad Monte was not in the room because 

he does not believe in things like “good clowns.”

He feels his lifelong clown phobia was prophetic

 for what is now happening.

The news interview took place while a woman was putting on her clown makeup.

The camera kept focusing on the reflection of the woman, 

white-faced, drawing exaggerated eyebrows in a small makeup mirror.

I know it was intended to be newsy-artsy

but it was creepy.

They did another interview with a clown named Steve who did not bother with makeup.

He just wore shorts, a t-shirt, a red nose and a wig.

He said he just wanted to bring joy to the children.

But apparently not bother with all the face makeup,

clown clothing

or a fun clowny name.

Can you imagine hiring a clown named Steve
for your kid’s birthday party?

It’s like he was someone’s brother-in-law who decided
to be a clown that day so he could afford to go to dinner and a movie.

Some local schools were put on high alert last week due to “clown threats” to harass the teachers and students as they walked to their cars.

Thanks to the speed of social media, my girls found out about this during school and were a bit concerned.

It was Homecoming this past weekend.

It was most unfortunate that the Homecoming committee picked a carnival theme for the dance.

And that a member of student council made a joke over the intercom 

during the morning announcements about a clown.

How do you kill a clown?

Stab him in the jugular.

Apparently he didn’t realize that an actual juggler was going to be 

showing off his talents in a few classes advertising the dance.

Apology texts and clarifications were sent to the students ensuring that NO CLOWNS would be at the Homecoming Carnival dance.

Just a juggler and someone making balloon animals.

They were also told that if any student should see a clown on or near the school premises, they were to let the administration know immediately.

Especially if the clown went by the name of Steve.

Just kidding.

Sorry, Steve.

A terrible storm swept through our town Friday with lightning and hail.

The high school was struck by lightning and one of the gyms caught fire.

Everyone was quickly evacuated and safe.

Thanks to the speed of social media, rumors started flying through the high school that the scary clowns were behind the fire.

For the love of Pete.

Monte and I were part of the carpool doing pick up and drop off for the freshman group Ellie went with to Homecoming. 

As we drove up to the high school from the restaurant for the dance, we pulled up behind a car with its lights on, people inside that weren’t getting out and with a license plate that read JINGU.

One of the boys yelled,

“JINGU? It’s a clown! JINGU is a clown!”

And just like that it was decided that 

no one was leaving the vehicle.

I told Monte to get out and check out the JINGU car.

He let me know right away with his eyes and very few words

that he would not handle the situation well AT ALL 

if he walked up to the car in front of us 

and came eyeball to eyeball with JINGU the clown.

But he did it.

After walking by the car a few times, he finally bent down and full-on peeked into the JINGU window.

He may or may not of waved to someone inside.

I can’t remember because IT WAS SO LOUD 

in the car with all the kids commentating Monte's every move.

Monte gave the thumbs up and they all jumped out of the car and ran into the school.

A few brave souls stole a glance at the JINGU car as they zoomed by.

Enough with the clowns already!