I like hot days and warm nights that don't require wearing jackets.
I live in a part of the country where jackets are required THE MAJORITY of the year,
so I do enjoy the brief season we can shed them.
And I will NEVER understand the people
who spend that brief season going places
that require those jackets.
Do some people just really love jackets?
Anyhoo…
School started yesterday and even though it is still the middle of August, it feels like summer is over.
I'm giving you the side-eye all things pumpkin flavored.
I don't get it
OR
the cold-shoulder shirt trend.
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| I really want my Bitmoji's dress. |
But, I digress…
I want to talk about other random things.
I had a Charlie Horse the other night.
It was intense.
Monte gets them all the time and pops out of bed and hobbles and dances all around the room groaning.
I've learned to sleep right through most of them.
But I never get them.
I didn't get out of bed with my Charlie Horse because I do believe I was briefly paralyzed.
It was so painful that I am still sore, days later.
Monte managed to sleep right through it.
I was telling someone about the Charlie Horse and was asked what I thought brought it on.
I thought about it…
We had friends over for dinner that night and I was cleaning and prepping food and on my feet a lot.
Could standing,
just being upright,
cause a Charlie Horse?!
Nothing says, "You are old" like your body rejecting being in a position other than sitting or lying down.
Later that day I took the girls to get stuff for school and we saw a dead animal on the road.
I thought it was a beaver.
McDaniel said it was just a bloated squirrel.
Ellie didn't care enough to weigh in.
I circled back so we could investigate further.
Because why in the world would a beaver be so close to our house and so far from the river?
It was a ground hog.
It reminded me of a time we were driving to see my parents years ago and we were in Lawrenceburg, Indiana by this big grassy embankment by the river and a groundhog was running on the steep embankment.
Like, hauling it, running.
Monte decided to see how fast he was going as compared to our car speed and it took some acceleration to catch the furry fast guy.
Who knew ground hogs could run like lightning
on those short little legs?
Well, not the one by my house.
RIP.
On the same errand trip, I realized I had not eaten lunch.
It was mid-afternoon at this point and I do not do well without three meals a day.
We saw this walking into Target.
Trash can jelly beans!!
Jelly beans are one of my favorite things!
I was weak in my flesh.
My girls had to steer me away from them
after I said they didn't look "that dirty."
Over the weekend, Monte and I were sitting outside listening to music, contemplating what to make for dinner.
On the table next to where I was sitting, I saw this little guy.
For a fuzzy guy, the red horns and red face/eyes/mouth, didn't leave me with a fuzzy feeling.
He kept doing fast laps around the edge of the table and every now and then he stretched out
like he was going to jump off or whisper something to me.
No doubt it was a message about how he planned
to kill me in my sleep later that night.
I went to adjust the volume of the music and the devil dragon caterpillar made me jump.
Not Lawrenceburg ground hog fast,
but faster than well,
the one by our house.
RIP.
One night recently, the girls had other plans and Monte and I were on our own for dinner.
I didn't feel like cooking or sitting in a restaurant, so we went to Whole Foods to grab something to go.
Monte was perusing the hot bar while I was looking at the salad bar.
He walked up to me and said something like,
"I knew it. Cods are jerks."
Then he walked me over to this sign.
We did not partake of it to see if it was delicious.
To celebrate Ellie's first day of school, I took her and a friend to dinner.
They were discussing their classes and teachers when Ellie told me her Environmental Science teacher said the methane gas from cow farts was damaging the ozone so farmers were making cows fart into balloons to power cars "and stuff."
I had just taken a big bite of food when she dropped this nugget of funny on me.
I almost did a lot of things (like choke and wet my pants) but I did manage to laugh until I cried.
I had so many questions.
And SO. MANY.
images in my head.
It wasn't until after we did a little post dinner school supply shopping that I was able to do some research.
Turns out, they are more of a balloon backpack attached to the stomach than what I had imagined.
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| I think this is weird for him too. |
This is what was swirling around in my head.
Ellie did say one of the kids in her class asked the teacher if any of the cows ever flew away.
Per the cartoon above,
yes.
So when this picture popped up on my Instagram feed, I was weak.
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| Laura Dern! Oh my word. |
I asked a few girlfriends if it was wrong that I wanted Nigel to let me do this to him.
The most he's allowed is a Velcro bow tie attached to his collar.
How much different is Laura Derning your dog from strapping inflatable backpacks to your cow?
Talk that one through amongst yourselves.
I have to go wake up Nigel.
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