Toddler Tired

In the midst of hosting family from out of town,

we decided to host whoever wanted to come over at 5:00 am 

to watch the Royal Wedding Saturday morning.

Ellie's sweet Young Life leader showed up.

I woke up at 4:45 to make tea and set out muffins, mini cinnamon rolls and fruit tarts.

There was NARY A SCONE to be had in this town.

I didn't realize that at 5:00 am it was mainly just watching the guests arrive and that it would be SOME TIME before we actually saw Meghan in her wedding dress.

The girls dozed at various points in the service and I was super glad my cousin was up early for a run to watch the fantastic Bishop Michael Curry's spirited message with me.

The wedding was beautiful, Meghan was stunning and I'm glad we got up to watch it.

After everyone left, we made breakfast for our company and then Monte and I decided to go for a long walk, 

which turned into running stadium stairs,

which turned into push-ups and sit-ups,

which turned into us running home in a DOWN POUR,

which turned into us just walking and laughing because running didn't keep us dry at all.

We were SOAKED.

After showering, I was pretty jazzed and decided to run a quick errand to look for new athletic shoes.

Not just because mine were soaking wet at home.

Somewhere during walking around the shoe store and trying a few pairs on, I hit a wall of tired.

Hard.

Monte had brought me a pair of shoes that he thought would be fantastic for me (i.e. cheap) and they felt like cement blocks on my feet.

I bent down to untie them and I just. couldn't.

I laid on the floor of the shoe store with my feet in the air SAYING NO WORDS.

Monte took my shoes off and we left.

On the way to the car I told him how I had a new understanding of why toddlers throw themselves on the floor when they get tired.

IT FELT PRETTY FANTASTIC!

Monte and I both agreed I needed a nap PRONTO.

It was around that time that I realized I had missed a call.

The name of the caller reminded me that I had committed to making several dozen cookies that day.

I almost cried.

Somehow, by the grace of God, I made close to 72 million cookies without crying.

Or throwing myself on the floor.

Then I made dinner.

All without a nap.

It's amazing what a lack of sleep does.

I felt cross-eyed.

I have a new appreciation for parents of newborns.

And for older parents of newborns.

But mostly for the people that live like this 

ALL. THE. TIME.

People that cram so much into each day that there is no time to sit and enjoy it.

There's always something else to go to, 

to say yes to,

to do, do, do.

My small group just discussed this idea of recharging.

Figuring out where all the pressures we are under are coming from.

Which ones we can get out from under 

so we can be more fully charged 

for what is the most important.

We are reading Priscilla Shirer's Fervent and she suggested that the many pressures in our our lives can resemble slavery.

"Slaves don't rest.
Slaves just work.
They don't control their agenda for the day;
the day's agenda controls them."

When we start thinking we CAN'T say no, 

then well, we are talking like a slave.

We are free.

We DO have the freedom to say no.

To allow ourselves space in our day to be still, 

to go to bed at a reasonable time, 

to be sensitive to what our body and mind are saying 

when it's cross-eyed tired.

I still don't think I have fully recovered because it's May and May is its own form of toddler tired without the royal wedding.

But I've planned some margin in my week to allow me some downtime to recharge for what I know will be a busy weekend.

Because of just a few no's,  I saw a frog outside my window this morning while I was watering my flowers.

I noticed the first peony of the season.

 I watched flags being installed along the sidewalks by a school for Memorial Day on my walk.

And I listened to an awesome sermon about Jesus coming to us 

in the midst of the storm.

I think my head planter I got for Mother's Day perfectly sums up my current mood.

The Things I See at School Pick Up

The other day I was waiting in my car for Ellie to get out of school.

I park on a residential street close to the school.

In the yard right by my car were two robins. One was busy with a worm and the other looked like he was bat crazy.

Like maybe he had sniffed some glue or had rabies if that's a thing birds can get.

The feathers on his head were standing up in all directions,  his body was all puffed up and both wings were spread out.

There was a crazy look in this bird's eye.

I swear, one eye was bigger than the other.

With much flapping around, I detected that he wasn't happy that the other bird was eating a worm right there.

I was worried for the worm eater.

He seemed undeterred in his eating.

He never even glanced at the crazy bird.

I have to admit, I may have yelled out advice for the little guy to leave before Crazy Bird flapped him upside the head or pecked his eyes out.

"Fly away!"

"Go!"

"Save yourself!"

"He's going to eat you!"

But he stayed.

Nibbling on his worm snack

 like there WASN'T a crazy puffed up bird 

making a big scene right by him.

I was riveted to the whole thing.

In one amazing second, Crazy Bird became completely normal.

No more wild feathered head.

No more puffed up body.

No more wide outstretched wings.

He may or may not have sighed 

before he flew away.

The other bird remained only concerned with his worm.

WHAT?!

As I tried to process the whole thing, it struck me.

That's what the enemy tries to do to us all the time.

All crazy and puffed up, he tries to intimidate us to retreat.

Retreat from the good work God has laid out for us.

Retreat from the blessings.

Retreat from the world in fear.

But we are told in Ephesians 6:11

"To put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand 

against the devil's schemes."

We don't have to fight him, 

God will do that, 

but we have to stand our ground. 

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

James 4:7

In Luke, Jesus tell us who to fear.

"But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who after the killing of the body, 

has power to throw you into hell."

Luke 12:5

You know who that is?

God.

Only God determines our eternity.

So that worm eating bird had it right.

He stood his ground, resisted the intimidation and Crazy Bird did in fact flee from him.

Right to the closest tree.

I'm so glad he didn't listen to me.

The things I see at school pick up.

"Eye Not Found"

I saw a blue jay yesterday morning. It was so vibrantly blue in the morning sun and HUGE. He flew close enough to the window that I could see the crest on his head and where the white feathers on his body met the blue.

It was beautiful.

I don't see blue jays often and consider it a real treat that I caught a glimpse.

It reminded me of a sermon I heard earlier this week.

It was about when something becomes so familiar to us that we cease seeing the amazement of it.

My husband grew up in Ft. Lauderdale and wearing shorts and flip flops all year 

and seeing pretty flowers and THE OCEAN every day was no big deal.

It certainly has become a VERY BIG DEAL

now that he has been living in the Midwest for the past 19 years.

The sermon pointed out how we can do that to God.

We can become so comfortable with life and the things in it coming through for us that we don't stop, acknowledge where it all comes from and let the amazingness of it to sink in.


I used my study bible to look up all the verses that use the word amazing.

There aren't that many and they are all in the New Testament.

When I used my Greek dictionary I found that all of the translations are from different forms of the word, like astounding.

Only one verse, Acts. 2:7, used the word amazing. It comes from the Greek word existemi which, broken down, comes from ex meaning out and hitemi, meaning to stand.

Put together it means to stand out.  "To be removed out of its place or state." In the New Testament it refers to the mind so it means to be out of one's mind, to be beside oneself with astonishment.

Somewhere between the New Testament and now, we've lost our ability to "lose our minds" over all God is doing or has done for us.

He made the blue jay, for crying out loud.

He's bright blue in a green and brown habitat.

Talk about being a stand out.

I went to the eye doctor this week and as I was looking through a machine that could photograph behind my eyeball, the machine spoke in a loud robotic voice,

"Eye not found."

I don't care who you are, 

you check to see if you can find your eye

after hearing such a statement.

The cute assistant said in a frustrated voice, to the machine, not me,

"Hey! I turned you on this morning, I can turn you off!"

Clearly, this wasn't her first 

"Eye not found" of the day.

And she was having none of it.

This machine was created to do ONE THING.

Photograph behind my eye.

My eye was UP CLOSE and looking RIGHT INTO IT.

But it couldn't find my eye.

In Mark 6 we are told the story of Jesus taking his disciples back to his hometown to teach and perform miracles.

When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, 

and many who heard him were amazed.

Mark 6:2a

They were amazed until they started asking who Jesus was. 

When they realized this was the dude they had grown up with they questioned,

"Where did this man get these things?" they asked. "What's this wisdom that has been given him that he even does miracles! Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us? 

And they took offense at him.

Mark 6:2b-3

This was no American Idol homecoming week with the parade, visit back to the old school and free concert at the end with everyone cheering and offering support.

No. They couldn't believe that one of their own, from rinky-dink small town Nazareth, could be anything more than a carpenter. 

In this context, carpenter was meant to be a slam such as, 

"Isn't he just as common as us?"

Read the verse above again. 

They didn't even say his name.

They mentioned his mother, Mary, 

and all his brothers 

and referenced his sisters

 but DID. NOT. SAY. JESUS.

They were right there with an up-close view.

"EYE NOT FOUND."

I'm not sure why, but they could not see or believe that Jesus was any different from them

 so how could he be something special, a stand-out anointed by God?

Maybe they were just too familiar with him as a carpenter

to ever see the amazingness that was him as our Messiah.

Jesus said to them,

"Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house 

is a prophet without honor."

Mark 6:4

The sermon I listened to pointed out that Jesus used this rejection from his own family and hometown friends as a lesson for the disciples.

They couldn't stop their ministry and performing miracles because some people early on failed to see it.

They became stronger and more humble because of it.

I did a little research on the blue jay.

Because of their vibrant color, they are easy prey.

Maybe that's why I don't see them often.

Or maybe I haven't been looking.