Click here and here if you want to know how this isn't our first rodeo when it comes to lice.
A week after Thanksgiving, Ellie kept complaining about an itching scalp.
I looked through her hair and saw nothing.
But to be fair,
I wasn't using a magnifying glass.
Or even my reading glasses.
I told her it was just dry scalp and to use some Head and Shoulders.
The next week I found her crying in her room before school.
She said her head was still itching and she feared she had lice.
I looked again and saw nothing
and sent her to school.
She texted me from school and asked for an appointment at the lice center.
I made an appointment after school but it was only for an assessment.
They were booked solid that day
and couldn't fit in anymore treatments.
Lice is a demanding business.
Within minutes it was determined I did not have lice and that Ellie did.
They booked Ellie at a different lice center across town for the following morning.
Ellie did not like the idea that she would be sitting around
the entire night KNOWING she had lice.
We stopped at a drug store to get shower caps and large garbage bags for all the pillows I planned to bag up that I couldn't wash.
Ellie was convinced the cashier would find our purchases revealing to her lice diagnosis
so she threw in some sour gummy worms to "throw him off."
It's a pharmacy.
I have to believe they've seen far more personal
and outright revealing purchases than
a 3-pack of shower caps,
a box of large garbage bags
and a bag of sour gummy worms.
I called to update Monte.
Within the hour, he called back to say that he'd called around and found a lice place that could get Ellie in that night around 7:00 and that he'd drive her since it was near his office and he was familiar with the area.
Ellie felt better about not missing school and being "lice free" when her head hit the freshly washed pillow that night.
I told her to start contacting close friends that might want to get checked as well.
She'd just been on a Young Life weekend retreat the weekend before Thanksgiving.
And we had hosted family for Thanksgiving.
The list of lice possibilities was growing.
An hour later, one of Ellie's friends, Molly, suspected she had lice and we texted numbers and offered to take her to the lice place so they could go together.
Ellie was so relieved to be going through this with someone else.
Her mood changed drastically.
 |
| Isn't that the cutest houndstooth shower cap? |
She found the funny in it.
Molly cried.
Ellie told her she'd go through four distinct stages of lice acceptance:
1. Denial
2. Sadness
3. Anger
4. Humor
Molly was just beginning.
I made dinner and had frantically began the washing of sheets, pillowcases, comforters, blankets and towels.
My friend Beth stopped by while I was distracting myself in between loads by watching Facebook videos of large alligators and people falling down trying to walk on icy sidewalks.
It had clearly been a long afternoon
and I wasn't the best version of myself.
We were busy catching up when I received a few texts and pictures of the girls from Monte.
 |
| Ginger and spice and everything lice--that's what TRUE friends are made of. Or something much less creepy and itchy than that. You know what I mean. |
It wasn't until later that I realized they were standing by a picture of Santa Claus with lice.
 |
| Not looking so jolly. |
Beth and I were still catching up when in walked Monte, Ellie and Molly with oily slicked back hair.
They were all laughing and talking at the same time.
Molly had advanced nicely
through those stages of lice acceptance.
Apparently this "lice place" Monte had booked was in a woman's house.
No sign.
No parking lot.
Just instructions
not to use
the front door.
Monte knew ALL OF THIS ahead of time.
Which is why he volunteered to take the girls because HE KNEW I'd say
NO, NO,
NEVER, NEVER,
AIN'T NO WAY!
 |
| Greasy, sneaky Monte. |
Monte asked lots of questions and learned the woman is a single mom and has a full time job. She and her pharmacist brother came up with a proprietary oil mix to smother the lice.
She does the "lice thing" on the side for extra money.
She was leaving the next week for Disney World paid for by her lice business.
As it turns out, lice is a demanding AND lucrative business.
She was in the beginning stages of franchising her operation.
I saw where this was going and informed Monte that I would NEVER start checking heads for lice in our garage.
With Beth still here, the girls convinced me that I should let them put the proprietary oil mix in my hair "to be sure" I didn't have lice.
It wasn't going to be the dumbest thing I'd ever done, so I agreed.
Beth's husband texted to see where the heck she was and she said she couldn't leave.
Something to the general effect about this episode of "The Hartranfts" was getting good.
Ellie was right.
Going through something with someone else
certainly does help change the mood drastically.
Beth became our photographer.
I sent this picture to McDaniel and my mom and they both asked,
"Who took this picture?"
I told them Beth was here.
We have lice.
Let's entertain!
 |
| Monte must be closing his eyes and dreaming of all that franchise lice money he wants me to make. |
McDaniel came home from college with friends for a concert this weekend. We tried to get her to let us oil her up.
She refused.
She's in the first stage of lice acceptance:
1. Denial
She'll be home in two weeks for Christmas.
The oil and Lice Santa will be waiting for her.
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| Monte sent this. I realize that I posted it but feel the need to point out he found it. And it's gross. |
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