Only God

I want to talk about suffering.

I know.

[Insert needle scratching across a record noise here]

Killjoy!

I have had a front row seat to some people who are suffering over the past year.

Some a few rows further back.

Some more like a passing glance.

But each example has been amazing.

Not that these particular people have been in pain

but it was HOW they handled it 

that blew me away.

I’ve come to realize that I’ve never felt more in the presence of God than when I’m watching someone suffer well.

Not be in denial.

Or put on a happy mask for the public eye.

But true, real, breathing possession of the peace that surpasses all understanding.

It was as if I could feel God holding them in the palm of His hand.

The people I’ve witnessed were completely justified in feeling…bad.

Their circumstances were punches in the emotional and spiritual gut.

But instead of grieving in such a way 

that clouded the space around them,

they lit it up.

Monte described one of the suffering people in our lives after running into them at the grocery store as glowing.

Only God.

Only God as our light can pierce the darkness of this world.

And only God can heal the cracks in our heart,

if we let Him, 

so that His joy in us makes. us. glow.

It has moved me to tears several times.

Happy, 

grateful, 

full-of-awe, 

“only God” 

tears.

I called to console someone recently on a tremendous loss and yet I was the one blessed by the conversation.

I found myself thanking her for the blessing before hanging up.

Only God.

To be able to speak articulately and inspirationally without breaking down at the funeral of your spouse taken too soon?

Only God.

If any of these people hadn’t acted in these ways,

God would’ve still been right there with them in their suffering.

But because THEY DID,

well, I’m writing this post.

It’s inspired me.

I want that.

Not the suffering, 

although I know it will come someday.

I want the overwhelming confidence that God will be BIGGEST through my weakest moments.

That I will not only not be crushed,

but through my “not being crushedness,”

 God will bless someone.

And who knows, 

they might write a blog post about it.

I want someone someday with a front row seat to my suffering to say,

“Only God.” 

8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9