My Week So Far in Pictures

Day #22

It’s been crazy busy here. 

Emphasis on crazy.

And I have the pictures to prove it.

While I was out of town at the women’s retreat, Monte took Nigel to the groomer and took this funny picture after he picked him up.

It’s like Nigel is letting Monte know just what the last 4 hours were like, WITH HIS FACE.

Kinda like Snoopy.

McDaniel went apple picking and brought back a bunch of apples. 

Contemplating what to do with all of them, I had Ellie pull out her papier-mache apple pie slice she made in art last year to show to the other Karmen.

Did you buy it? Did it look real for even a second?

Ellie also showed us her latest art project.

It’s a pixelated picture of Chris Pratt.

She drew it square by square.

I can’t even imagine.

Monte has been having pain in his hand for a long while now right below his thumb in what I call the “hand meat."

He originally thought he hurt it lifting weights.

But it kept hurting and the pain intensified.

He almost cried when Ellie high-fived him.

Monte worried it might be gout again.

He finally went to the doctor and got x-rayed.

Then he got referred to a hand doctor.

I didn’t even know there was such a thing.

For some reason I envision skeleton hands all over their office
and that they have some IMPRESSIVE personal hand shakes
among themselves.

The hand doctor diagnosed Monte with arthritis.

So there’s a nice kick into old age. 

And fun keepsake pictures too.

Monte turns 50 in February.

And it seems like his body is quickly falling apart.

I don’t see anything. Do you?

Isn’t this a freaky picture? Very Halloweenesque.

Maybe I should frame it.

It’s that time again and Carisa is doing Ellie’s makeup in the back of my car before dress rehearsal for  the middle school production of High School Musical.

Opening night is tonight!

Either Ellie is getting ready to sneeze or Carisa just poked her in the eye.

Carisa does a much better job than I ever could.

McDaniel has to wear a 70s outfit for her choir’s performance this weekend.

The same EXACT time of Ellie’s play.

(Bad call, school system, bad call.)

Even with our extensive Halloween prop box, I had nothing 70s for McDaniel to wear.

Nothing.

And she needed something the day after 

she told me about it for the first time.

So I sent out a desperate text to my friends to see what they had.

My friend Megan had bell bottoms and platform shoes.

The pants were too short.

And bell bottoms do not work if they are floods. 

McDaniel LOVED Megan’s shoes!

She immediately took off her boots and tried them on while still wearing her boot socks.

It looked like she was wearing leg warmers.

And they made her 8 feet tall.

I decided that would be a great marriage of the fashion of the 70s and 80s.

Platform shoes and leg warmers. 

Your welcome, Fashion World.

Said the middle-aged woman 

wearing dinosaur pajama pants.

I have caught Monte MORE THAN ONCE watching a children’s show ALL BY HIMSELF.

This is not a children’s show that was even around when our kids were little so it’s not like this is nostalgic.

It’s called Peppa Pig.

The pigs are English and incorporate random oinks into their conversations.

Karmen and I discussed this in our hotel room at the retreat and it just MUST be relaxing for Monte. A way to turn off his brain.

Then Karmen broke out an impression of the little English kid pigs 

in the show and it wrecked me. 

(Karmen has 7 kids. She knows the show all too well.)

It was late.

And I REALLY needed to blow off some steam after two days of speaking.

I laughed really hard.

For some reason, the fact that the dad pig has whiskers really bothers Monte.
You know, he has arthritis now, so I’m going to just let him be bothered by this.

Then we come to this morning.

I can tell Monte did some grocery shopping while I was out of town because there is food in the fridge I’d never buy.

Like Tennessee Pride frozen sausage sandwiches.

I don’t even want to THINK about the disgusting 

additives and preservatives in them.

Of course, the girls LOVE them.

They were rushing around this morning getting ready for school when they asked how long they should microwave the sandwich to thaw it to an edible level.

Which, of course, is a ridiculous question because 

THERE IS NO TIME AVAILABLE 

TO MAKE THAT SAFELY EDIBLE.

Monte and I got into a spirited discussion of the time it would take to properly thaw out the breakfast food.

I know, I’d had two cups of coffee and I was feeling spunky.

Or as Monte calls it, “Chip Chappy."

Ellie chose Monte’s direction and a big explosion came from the microwave.

I asked if “Heat until it explodes” was part of the box directions.

He said, in fact, it was.

I needed proof.

That man went out into the garage where I had recycled the box the day before, dug around until he found it and produced this.

Ok, they really downplayed the explosion with the phrase, “pop open” and the “this is normal” is just comedy gold.

It’s going to be another crazy day, 

emphasis on crazy.