A Hairy Situation

I was vacuuming a few days ago when it started making a very weird noise.

“It” meaning the vacuum.

Not me.

Or anything coming from the fireplace.

This was NOT a “call the fire department” moment.

I decided to investigate the noise and realized a plastic piece on the side of the vacuum kept popping out.

Not sure why that particular piece was key to the operation of the ENTIRE vacuum 

but I didn’t design it.

I flipped the vacuum over and discovered the horror that was the rolling brush inside.

What in the holy hair?!

I had to give our vacuum a hair cut.

After I saw just how much hair I cut out of the poor roller brush, I started to understand why that plastic piece was trying to jump ship.

And wonder if Chewbacca did not in fact live in our house.

Honestly!

After that disgusting task, I tried using the vacuum again.

Didn’t help.

Not even a little bit.

The plastic piece kept falling out.

And I started noticing that it wasn’t really 

sucking anything up off the floor.

I called Monte and we figured out the vacuum was almost 10 years old and possibly not worth the repair cost of having it fixed.

So, with coupon in hand, I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and bought the cheapest thing I could find.

The last vacuum we had was a Dyson that we loved, 

until the noise 

and broken plastic piece 

and 

ALL THE HAIR,

but then, that’s our fault.

Monte and I quickly decided that we weren’t going to shell out the money for another Dyson and with him on the phone doing searches on brands, we decided to go with a Shark Rocket.

Mainly because it was on sale and I had a coupon.

And also because it was very lightweight.

And got good reviews.

This thing is powerful!

I have to keep it on the low setting or it tries to suck up an entire area rug!

It wasn’t until I was trying not to suck up all our area rugs that I realized it didn’t have any detachable hose features.

We definitely need that for our carpeted basement stairs.

So we’ve decided to get a handheld little cordless vacuum.

So, all is right with the world 

and there is a broken, 

hairless 

Dyson in the garage waiting for trash day.

In other news, McDaniel is getting her hair cut on Friday…

Going Green

Ok.

The green smoothie wasn’t bad.

It wasn’t bad AT ALL.

In fact, after I got over the shocking green color, 

it was GOOD.

It’s filling and makes me forget about wanting a second cup of coffee if I drink one for breakfast.

Click on the link for the recipe I found online at deliciouslysprinkled.com.

I liked this one because it didn’t include fruit juice which I think makes smoothies too sweet or dairy which I think makes smoothies too thick.

Here is how I make the Energizing Green Smoothie since I don’t like mango:

• 2 cups fresh spinach

• 2 cups water

Mix the water and spinach in the blender by themselves to get rid of green chunks.

THIS IS KEY.

Green chunks that stick in your teeth are bad 

if you ever want to drink a second green smoothie.

• 1 cup frozen strawberries

• 1 cup frozen pineapple

• 2 bananas

• 2 tablespoons chia seeds 

(I got the white ones because I know myself and drinking something 

with black seeds in it would freak me out)

They aren’t kidding about the energizing part.

I haven’t had to have my usual afternoon tea pick-me-up since having this for breakfast or an afternoon snack.

Over the weekend I ran out of spinach and strawberries and decided to substitute it with kale and raspberries.

The green was intense.

 It turned a gazpacho color.

It tasted like farts.

I’m sorry, that was graphic.

And 100% true.

But I forced myself to drink it since I tallied up the cost of all the fruit and it seemed a shame to waste.

And I didn’t go into intestinal distress like I feared,

so that’s… good.

I happily made a pitcher of my good ol’ spinach smoothies this morning. 

It makes 3 servings for me but I’m sure I could squeeze 4 out of it.

I either keep the pitcher in the fridge for later or I freeze the extra into separate ziplocs and defrost them in the sink under hot water before drinking them (I use a spoon to chunk up any left over frozen parts). 

Hope you like it and let me know how you alter the recipe.

Unless it involves kale.

Public Speaking

My high school daughter just started a public speaking class.

She gave her first speech this week.

McDaniel had to bring in three things that defined her in a bag that also had a tie-in.

She brought in things that represented her faith, her name and her love of writing.

All in a KFC bucket to represent her love of fried chicken.

She wasn’t nervous. 

Not even a little bit.

Public speaking is way up there in the top fears of man.

For some, even more so than death.

After speaking at my church’s women’s retreat this past October, 

I get that.

McDaniel told me all about the speeches that she will need to give over the next semester.

They are basically the same speeches I was required to give when I was in high school.

It brought me back.

And honestly, 

I don’t remember being nervous 

back then either.

I had THE BEST public speaking class.

It was filled with a variety of people due to the fact that everyone HAD to take this class to graduate.

I remember the girl who got so nervous during every. single. speech. that she shook uncontrollably and could barely hold her note cards or control her wavering voice.

It was so hard to watch.

But, boy, did we root for her.

It was a safe place.

I remember the sweet boy with the sheepish grin who, during his demonstration speech, 

decided to show us how to take out and put back in contact lenses.

He couldn’t read his notes when his contacts were out.

I remember the girl who showed us how to decorate a cake and passed out butter cream roses for the class to eat.

I would pay a lot of money for one right now.

I also remember the boy who showed us how to tag a hog’s ear.

I grew up in a small town surrounded by big farms.

He had cut out a construction paper ear and for reasons unknown,

(nerves, I hope)

he hole-punched the holy heck 

out of that construction paper hog’s ear 

until it completely fell apart.

I remember a boy with a poster board who had story-boarded in great stick-person detail, 

just how creatively he chose to torment his sister.

No one laughed harder at that speech than him.

And I laughed pretty hard.

It was fun listening to McDaniel talk about all the speeches she heard.

And who knows, 

she just might remember a few of them almost 30 years from now,

like me.

What about you? 

Do you have any high school/college public speaking memories?

I’d love to hear them!

Deadwood

When life gives you a predicament,

a real one,

not what to cook for dinner

or what to wear.

It is sooo easy to listen to what the world would have us to do

rather than God.

It’s easy to run to a person,

especially the one who will tell us we are always right, 

always justified,

and give us the absolute easiest solution possible

with little to no growth 

or change

or skin off our own nose.

The world is such a liar.

And it is filled with liars.

Liars that we go to for counsel.

We hear from them that it’s okay to pursue happiness over character.

Selfishness over community.

Obsession over moderation.

Personal rights over sanctity of life.

It’s how “unschooling” was born.

And a ridiculous term called “affluenza”.

And a disturbing show called “My Strange Addiction”.

When did the world decide that telling a kid to sit down and do their homework was destructive?

Or employing accountability?

Or telling an adult that NO they cannot pretend 

to be a lamp 

or eat Draino?

Once we accept Christ and actually read the bible, 

we come to know the truth.

Not “your truth” or “my truth”

which brings about spoiled brats 

and adults who treat their 182 Cabbage Patch dolls 

like real people,

or sadly,

explosive vests as a fulfillment to

“their truth."

Truth isn’t plural.

It is singular in every sense of the word.

And that word begins and ends as God.

So why do we not seek out the truth when we are in a tight spot?

We must get some sort of satisfaction out of staying up all night, 

wrung out with worry,

trying to figure it all out on our own.

God knew this would be our nature,

our sin nature.

So he gave us great verses like this:

“I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is--when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.”

John 15:5-8

The Message

God shows us who He is through our fruit 

(what we produce, alive and active in the truth)

and maturing in Him.

Meaning:  the predicaments in our lives are meant to grow us when we remain in Him.

Dependent on God.

The vine that keeps us alive.

Not the world.

In the end, “the harvest is sure to be abundant."

My study notes in the NIV version of this verse says that "God is glorified in the fruit-bearing of disciples.”

God is like an awesome orchard of vines so proud of all His grapes.

The vines that have broken away are nothing but deadwood worth nothing more than firewood.

I don’t know about you,

but I don’t want to be deadwood.

And I’ve been known to pick up driftwood at the beach 

and display it in my home.

Driftwood is deadwood.

It’s beautiful, though, isn’t it?

No fruit here.

What do we teach our children if we choose to be deadwood?

That when the going gets tough, 

pull away.

When life gets difficult,

try to fix it all by yourself.

In the end,

you are just an immature piece of deadwood 

waiting to be turned into a pile of ash.

Or a decorative knickknack.

That’s a grim future to choose compared to this promise:

“For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord, “plans to proper you 

and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Happy New Year

It’s 2016 and everyone, it seems, is trying to start fresh.

I talked with a girlfriend yesterday and we both were looking at meal planning websites to kickstart dinner time.

I hate routine when it comes to meals.

My palette needs variety.

And my eyes need color.

I can’t eat a plate of all brown.

Monte has no problem with that.

In fact, an all-brown plate is something 

he’d order a plate of right now.

With a side of meat on a stick.

So far, my meal planning has produced only two recipes.

I just can’t get my mouth around quinoa, bulgar and flax seed.

Why do SO MANY recipes include them?

Oddly enough, I also have a mild curiosity about making green smoothies.

Then I looked at the possible ingredients.

IF I take this green smoothie step,

there will be substitutions.

On top of wanting to add some variety to our meals,

I’m desiring to clean out all the things 

from all the areas of our house.

I talked with my neighbor about just this topic this morning.

There’s always that one room in the house 

where everything gets stashed.

For her, it’s a guest bedroom.

For me, it’s our master bedroom and the basement.

The master bedroom is the room in our house 

that has been neglected the longest.

Which is sad since it’s the room where I should feel relaxed, 

like a retreat

and not just the room that holds the unfolded laundry,

a library-sized stack of books

and luggage in between trips.

I started looking for master bedroom design ideas online and I don’t think it would be that hard/expensive to get the look I’m after.

But then again, I’m the one who willingly typed in “green smoothie recipes” into a Pinterest search.

With that caveat, 

and very poor transition,

I’m going to recommend a few things 

to add to your new year list making.

Things I think you’d love mainly because I do.

Monte and I saw the above dinosaur t-shirt in New York and I thought it was funny. 

How many times did our girls tell us they didn’t eat something 

when it was smeared all over their face?

I guess this is more of a funny than a recommendation.

Although, if you aren’t owning up to something you know you need to own up to 

because others have caught you in the middle of it, 

 maybe 2016 is your year to do that.

How's that for trying to get back on track 

from the rabbit trail?!

1.  Grandma Gatewood’s Walk:  The Inspiring Story of the Woman Who Save the Appalachian Trail by Ben Montgomery.

I bought this book for my dad last year and he couldn’t say enough about it. He gave it to me and it took me awhile to pick it up and start it. I can’t believe I waited so long to read it. It’s fantastic!!

Grandma Gatewood is a 67-year-old woman who decided to “take a walk” one day in the 1950s and ended up walking from Georgia to Maine. She had little supplies but a love for the forest and a great survivor spirit.

It should be a movie.

Instead of all those horror movies that keep getting released 

and anything Quentin Tarantino directs.

Speaking of movies…

2. War Room

Monte and I intended to see this movie in the theaters but didn’t. We got the DVD after Christmas and I’m so glad we own it! It’s such a great movie about forgiveness and the power of prayer.

This is not a chick flick. It should be seen by men as well as women.

3. My Southern Journey:  True Stories from the Heart of the South by Rick Bragg

My girlfriend Beth got this for me for my birthday. Rick Bragg writes a column for Southern Living magazine and Beth would often tear them out for me to read. He writes in such a way that you feel as if you’ve just HEARD him tell you the story from his own mouth.

He writes a whole chapter on dirt. 

And it’s fantastic.

This is a collection of some of his columns and other essays. It’s easy to pick up and read a few chapters before bed.

4. Pie Face

You’ve probably seen videos of people playing this game circulating around online. 

Monte did.

And he decided that we had to have this for Christmas.

But it was sold out most places.

Monte decided to buy from two different places to ensure a Christmas delivery.

One came within a few days.

The other came after Christmas with Chinese writing all over the box.

It didn’t disappoint.

It’s a game of chance where you risk getting a face full of whipped cream.

It really was random who’d get it and who didn’t.

The game also comes with a small sponge that you wet so you get soaked if the hand decides to do so.

I found the wet sponge to the face refreshing 

after the sticky whipped cream.

5.  Card ’n’ Go Seek

I saw this game at our grocery store in the Christmas aisle. I’m not sure why I picked it up but I’m glad I did.

This is so fun!!

You place one card less than people playing that have words of things you must collect to represent that word.

Things around the house.

Things like “sweet” or “transparent”.

We played at my parents’ house and my mom had a clear advantage (and intense competitive spirit).

Once an item is used, it can not be used again which increased the difficulty.   

6. Restoration Hardware’s No-Crack Hand Cream

Beth introduced me to this a few years ago. I’m a sucker for hand cream. And the fact that it’s called “No-Crack Hand Cream.”

We’ve shortened it to “Crack Cream” around here.

Of course we did.

Monte LOVES this stuff. It has no perfumey smell and it isn’t greasy. Monte’s hands bleed they get so chapped and, well, cracky.

Enter “No-Crack Hand Cream” to save the day!

I have no idea if Restoration Hardware sells this all year or just at Christmas. It’s $5 for this little jar but it lasts forever.

I hope you enjoy any or all of the above things as much as I have.

I’m off to clean out all the non-essential things from the master bedroom.

Or, in other words, 90% of its contents.

Happy New Year!!